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James Franco mopes around like a teenager who's been mugged for his James Dean DVD boxset in Tristan + Isolde except that this love story unfolds in the Dark Ages. That's long before the advent of electricity, which might explain the lack of sparks between him and British actress Sophia Myles. Her talent is wasted here, but there's little she or director Kevin Reynolds can do with a simpleminded script that fails to generate any urgency and therefore any passion.

Tristan is a knight in the order of Lord Marke (Rufus Sewell) who is struggling to reunite the tribes of England and keep the Irish at bay. It's all a distant noise when Tristan first sets eyes on Irish princess Isolde but their brief entanglement becomes a torment when she's betrothed to Marke as a peace offering.

"SUPERFICIAL STORYTELLING"

Franco simply goes from dead-eyed to misty-eyed, leaving Myles to pull up the slack. Sewell turns in a sympathetic performance as Marke, but the threat of what he'll do when he discovers that Tristan and Isolde have been catting around is diminished by the fact he's so darned nice. Equally, the idea of illicit love putting an entire nation at risk feels remote with just a few light battle scenes chucked in for appearance's sake and no feeling of the sacrifice Isolde's father (David O'Hara) has made in selling her off. All problems boil down to superficial storytelling with its glossy canvas and even glossier hair. But unlike Franco's mop, no amount of teasing can keep this romance from falling flat.