Spiders invoke a primal fear - like that of snakes, claws, or Bobby Davro. A terror that is almost universal. How to amplify that fear? Well, try thousands of spiders. The size of horses. That's the premise behind "Eight Legged Freaks", a throwback 50s-style creature feature minus the reds-under-the-bed subtext. The avowed intent here is to scare without scarring, shock without being shocking. It's creepy crawly horror for all the family.
The town: Prosperity, Arizona. The set-up: toxic gloop infects a lake, from which insects are taken and fed to the inhabitants of an exotic spider farm. The result: giant spiders. Hungry giant spiders. "You're not going to believe me because I'm the kid and they never believe the kid", says, er, the kid as he warns nice-but-dim Chris (Arquette) of the town's impending doom. But soon enough Chris is a believer as, teamed with Kari Wuhrer's comely female sheriff and Doug E Doug's paranoid comic relief DJ, he's on the run from a variety pack of the evil beasties (jumping/trapdoor/orb spiders etc).
Taking a scant ten minutes to set the scene, writer-director Ellory Elkayem isn't from the slow-burn, shadow-lurking breed of horror film makers (plus, his producers here are "Godzilla" makers Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich - hardly masters of subtlety.) He's got huge, computer-generated arachnids to play with, and he wants to have as much fun as possible.
Initially smart-mouthed in a "Lake Placid" fashion, as the spider chase schematics stretch out so the dialogue downgrades (Doug E Doug's jive-talk is plain boring), but really, you won't care. Flick your brain into neutral and let your nervous system be your guide. Arrggh! GIANT SPIDERS!