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More amusing than anything in this great British dud is the revelation that first-time feature director Rami Dvir, who has at least a smattering of experience in theatre and TV, was also head of armaments in assorted combat squadrons. This hardly suggests a degree of finesse, and so it is less of a revelation to find Dvir adopting a blunderbuss approach to "The Wedding Tackle".
Clearly another of those subversive British comedies which omits jokes, it is all about the merry-go-round of love - well, sex actually - the shallow idiots on offer are too trouser-centred to have hearts. The story specifically involves weak, charmless, about-to-be-married philanderer Hal (James Purefoy) who still likes to wander. He asks Mr Mac (Adrian Dunbar) to ensnare his fianc茅e Vinni (Susan Vidler) in a close encounter so that the wedding will be called off. Meanwhile, Little Ted (Tony Slattery), an obsessive, silly painter, is still dreaming of the days he spent with Vinni, Mr Mac is avoiding hard, unsmiling Eastender (Leslie Grantham, who else?) who has spotted him with his wife (Amanda Redman), and she, rather confusingly, ends up panting in the toilets with someone else. Lovely, what?
Even the dullest, untempting scenario (which this undoubtedly is) could be sparked by some sign of characterisation but this dead weight of a film rattles to the sound of undernourished characters announcing lines, mainly giant slabs of bland chat. The director seems mesmerised by the fact that anyone at all agreed to appear in his film (if they've already seen it, the entire cast will be in a state of shock), and so he forgets to move his camera and advance the action. The result is a great static lump with nothing at the centre. In terms of comedy, by the way, dance-floor clowning passes for wit. This British film's only plus is that it comes completely free of gangsters. And these days, that seems particularly wacky.
