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The extent to which many sports fans copy their heroes is incredible.Ìý The idol is carefully chosen and then, with an almost religious strength of faith, followed and copied no matter how dubious their actions.

Laird getting on a bit now needs a stick

This obviously also applies to surfers. When we talk about surfing heroes, Laird Hamilton is one name that will inevitably crop up.Ìý The man has been around for decades, is a world class surfer and windsurfer, has surfed some of the heaviest waves ever ridden and was the man who brought both tow-in surfing and kiteboarding to a global audience.

However, he is also responsible for... stand-up paddleboarding, or SUP for short.
In this discipline, you stand on a huge log of a board and paddle it out to sea as if in training to be a gondolier.

It is very unstable, impossible to paddle out in big surf. If you manage to catch a wave on it, it obviously surfs terribly, even without the handicap of having to carry the oar, and in the wrong hands, it is lethal in crowded surf.Ìý BUT - Laird did it, so it must be cool and must be copied.

The thing is, I saw a documentary made when Hamilton was just starting to ride SUPs in which he basically says that he and his mates decided that, for a change, rather than trying to find another new and better way of surfing, they'd take a deliberately retrograde step and make it as hard and cumbersome as possible just for a giggle.

Slater's dome © ASP

No doubt since then, realising he can make millions in endorsements from the sale of these things, he's changed his tune.

Laird fans like to think of themselves, just like the man himself as true watermen.Ìý Waterman? What is that? I never really got it. Is it that thing off Doctor Who that killed Davros? Is it a colourless jelly baby?

If the definition is "someone who puts to sea in many varied craft", then if I drift down Hayle Estuary on an inflatable Renault Laguna, am I a waterman and if so, do I get to snog Billie Piper?

Who knows? All I know is, I'm not one, and I for one am not going to waste my life following and copying every move made by Laird Hamilton. Nope, Kelly Slater is my idol and I've gone further than most in trying to emulate the undisputed greatest surfer of all time.

Yes, showing even more commitment than the mohican sporting footy heads of the early naughties, I've copied the great man's hairstyle by going prematurely bald. Now that's dedication.

Thruster