Bingeing Poms
I am fast becoming a bingeing Pom. In this the land of the "manscaped body", my abdominal muscles are in serious danger of repetitive strain as they struggle to fight the good fight of reining in my spreading girth.
My last two postings took me to an embattled superpower, America, and an emerging superpower, India. Now, I find myself reporting from one of the world鈥檚 foremost culinary superpowers, with the attendant perils for my waistline.
Sydney claims still to be its unofficial capital (though Melbournians would no doubt disagree), a city so fixated by food that the appointment of each new restaurant critic attracts almost as much attention as the casting of a new James Bond.
And in many ways, the creme de la creme of the food commentariat have the same licence to kill 鈥 the make-or-break power to doom any new establishment on the basis of a few unsatisfactory mouthfuls.
Out on the food frontlines, it鈥檚 not uncommon for chefs to fight back. A former critic, Matthew Evans, told me how he鈥檇 been threatened with violence, sued for defamation and even followed by a private detective after posting an unfavourable review. Then came the ultimate "foodie" insult. A chef decided to name a dish in his dishonour after he had the gall to call it stupid.
But it鈥檚 hard to feel much sympathy for him. For a time, Matthew had the joyful task of compiling the 鈥檚 fabled meal of the month: a fantasy menu of the finest four courses from the finest restaurants. In the journalistic world, can anyone think of a more mouth-watering assignment?
The Herald even has its very own food agony aunt. Want to rustle up a plate of marbled wagyu beef, with asparagus, baby beans, girolle mushrooms and summer truffles: then look no further.
That job was long filled by celebrity chef, Bill Granger, famed in these parts for his scrambled eggs and corn fritters (I kid you not). So here鈥檚 another question for Bill to ponder: why are so many Australians so very obsessed with food?
"Food is the first way we get to appreciate other peoples鈥 cultures, whether it鈥檚 the Italians or the Chinese,鈥 Bill told me, over a cup of soya latte. 鈥淚t鈥檚 one of the main ways here that new immigrants have won acceptance.鈥
That鈥檚 surely true. Australia鈥檚 increasingly exotic menus reflect its increasingly multicultural hue: a flavoursome melting pot in which Vietnamese, Japanese, Thai, Indian, Eastern European and Chinese restaurants flourish.
In a country seeking closer ties with its closest neighbours, it should come as no surprise that Sydney鈥檚 most celebrated chef, the world renowned Tetsuya Wakuda, is a specialist in Asian fusion who arrived here in 1982 from Japan.
And perhaps it鈥檚 no coincidence either that the politician who built her reputation on opposing immigration, Pauline Hanson, the erstwhile leader of the nativist One Nation Party, ran a fish and chip shop in Queensland.
The success of new Labor MP Maxine McKew in becoming only the second candidate in Australian history to unseat a sitting Prime Minister was partly due to the support she received from large sections of Bennelong鈥檚 Asian-Australian communities.
Fittingly then, the Golden Jade Seafood restaurant in the Sydney suburb of Eastwood, the purveyors of fabulous dim sum, sometimes felt like her unofficial campaign headquarters.
Not so long ago, I attended a citizenship ceremony at Sydney town hall, a joyful occasion at which more than 40 new citizens from more than 20 different countries pledged allegiance to the Australian flag.
The city of Sydney could hardly have been more welcoming. There were gift bags for the new citizens and a concert pianist whose repertoire included "Waltzing Matilda" and the 1980s ballad "I still call Australia home".
After the ceremony, there was also some typically Australian fare on offer: a plate of Lamingtons, a soft sponge coated in chocolate and desiccated coconut, and meat pies with a garnish of tomato sauce. I, of course, will happily scoff both. But I couldn鈥檛 help wondering about, and being grateful for, the more multicultural menu which this country now has to offer.
All that remains is to wish you happy eating over this festive period. And remember, if you鈥檙e thinking of tossing a shrimp casually onto the barbie then you should surely give serious consideration to splashing it first with a dash of squid ink sauce and applying a coat of tomato foam. Your status as a culinary superpower surely demands nothing less.