Badgered by surveyors
The devolution of justice may not be complete by May 2008, but the Agriculture Department hopes a survey of local badgers which it starts this month will be. Michelle Gildernew wants to look at the survey results before she decides what to do about badgers suspected of passing on TB to cattle. But reading between the lines of a recent written Stormont answer she seems to be considering whether to vaccinate the animals. No such qualms for her questioner, the DUP's Jim Shannon, who as regular readers of this column will know, normally favours a direct approach. He wants to know when the minister plans to start culling the badgers.
All this raised in my mind's eye an image of a surveyor, clip board in hand, trying to ascertain our local badgers' views on the future.
If you would prefer to be vaccinated tick box A. If you would rather be culled tick box B.
I'm 
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I can see the 91Èȱ¬ Website article now ...
"A surprising finding emerged from the survey: 60% of badgers requesting culling. The surprise result prompted ministers to re-examine the survey form sent to the badgers via post, and it emerged that the survey was misspelt. 60% of badgers requested cuddling, not culling. A spokesman for the Executive stated that further public money would have to be spent to update the form and send corrected versions to all the participating badgers.
"In spite of the surprise result, an Alliance Party spokesman attacked the Executive over the findings. He said, 'Why did only 60% of badgers say they wanted a bit of a cuddle? Why is the Executive failing to reach out to badgers such that a much higher number request it?' Michelle Gildernew, the responsible Executive Minister, could not be reached for comment."
Humph. Someone has to force me to read this post. It's too big and boring. Brevity is the sister of talent, remember that.