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Saturday Live

Matt Harvey

  • JP
  • 9 Feb 07, 03:49 PM

In 1992 began performing poems and is now a veteran of the UK festival circuit.

He is President of MIND in Exeter and East Devon and helps organise its regional Off the Wall comedy festival. Since co-writing and co starring in two series of One Night Stanza in 2001/02 he has become a regular Radio 4 voice, contributing to programmes such as Off The Page, Word of Mouth and A Good Read. He writes songs too. Matt has published five books; Here We Are Then, Songs Sung Sideways, Standing Up To Be Counted Out, Curtains and Other Material and most recently The Hole in the Sum of my Parts which contains a selection from the previous four books plus some new bits.

mattharvey0707.jpg

Spellcheck
I’ve been feeling sleek and furry
since you came and made me whole
and now I understand why love’s
an anagram of vole

If only I’d known
If only I’d known… …the right places to wait
To see sleepwalkers naked - but now it’s too late

My mind is so full of if-only-I’d-knowns
Some wistful some twisted but most of them moans

If only I’d known… …that it takes one to know one
If only I’d known… …that I too could grow one

If only I’d known… …it could never be proved
And that in my late twenties I’d have it removed

If only I’d known… …it was nothing personal
And that her whole family supported Arsenal

If only I’d known… …this is not about sex
If only I’d known… …the true value of x

If only I’d known… …what was there in my grasp
If only I’d known… …I need only have asked

If only I’d known… …about just being human
About habeas corpus and personal grooming

How skip-to-the-loo is the national sport
How it’s hard to walk tall when you’ve just been caught short

If only I’d known… …that deep talk is cheap
And when I’m not snoring I talk in my sleep

…which you’d probably think would be harmless
But, trust me, people who metaphorically sleepwalk should wear metaphorical pyjamas…

About a Bear
When you’ve cared for a bear
When you’ve shared with a bear
It’s hard to bear when the bear’s not there
There’s a bear-shaped space where a bear should be
And what can you do but sit and stare
At eight foot two of bear-free air

Beefy burly
Stocky sturdy
Solid stout
But nowhere about

And Big Bear Ranch without the resident grizzly
Is like Graceland without Elvis Presley
Both of them stars -
but one of them a constellation
±á±ð°ù³¦³Ü±ô±ð²õ…

Who graced the stage, the silver screen
The cover of Time Magazine
Who saw the world, who crossed the pond
Who wrestled one-on-one with Bond [James Bond]

With one swipe of a playful paw
He might have broken Roger Moore
But he’s not that type
(And what appeals to us, is, to a bear
Neither here nor there)

And far away from the limelight’s glare
He just kept busy being a grizzly bear
Shuffling, nuzzling, scoffing, cuddling
The ones who notice he’s not there
Who cared for a bear and won’t forget
Who feel bereft of the heft of him
The wet-nosed brown-haired gentle hulk
Though all they now have left of him
are memories
in bulk


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Comments

  1. At 10:53 AM on 10 Feb 2007, maggie hancher wrote:

    Missed the end of your signature tune.

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  2. At 11:41 AM on 10 Feb 2007, Sandie Hurst wrote:

    I am sure I was not alone at having tears in my eyes when the poem about Hercules was read out, A lovely epitaph, Thankyou

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  3. At 06:12 PM on 10 Feb 2007, Alan Frederick wrote:

    Loved listening to your Hercules the Bear poem and would like a copy if possible.
    The poems are one of the best parts of the show, keep up the good work.
    Thankyou.

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  4. At 11:53 PM on 10 Feb 2007, Chris wrote:

    Four, five or five hundred cheers for Matt Harvey, a source of admiration and delight (from a retired English teacher; one who once wrote a textbook called 'Rhythm and Metre: a Practical Poetry Workbook' - so I know whereof I speak). Having groaned off and on for years under the weight of the 'poetry' offered in such as Times Lit. Supp., London and New York Reviews of Books etc. - almost all devoid not only of metre (dirty word/concept) but of any sense of rhythm or anything else that might distinguish a poem from a phone directory entry. Me, I find Matt's lovely, lively, craftsmanlike and almost instant improvisations catch my soul!

    Hail then to Matt, who's Bardically O so
    Nonpareil, worth rechristening Matto Grosso
    (After the well-known Brazilian jungle)
    Not one syllable-stress does he bungle,
    Rocking right on, rationing out rhythm and rhyme
    To the last syllable of recorded thyme
    (Not to mention parsley, rosemary and sage).
    Devoid of pretension and parsliflage,
    King of the Road to Scarborough Fair.
    Happy the fellow-poets who greet him there -
    As it might be Sallust or Simon or Garfunkool -
    Or the frigid free-versers, the Men from Uncool!

    Who can match his metric magic? I say very few!
    Q.e.d. me, who've had to resort here to clerihew!

    Cheers

    Chris


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  5. At 11:59 PM on 10 Feb 2007, Leontes wrote:

    Four, five or five hundred cheers for Matt Harvey, a source of admiration and delight (from a retired English teacher; one who once wrote a textbook called 'Rhythm and Metre: a Practical Poetry Workbook' - so I know whereof I speak). Having groaned off and on for years under the weight of the 'poetry' offered in such as Times Lit. Supp., London and New York Reviews of Books etc. - almost all devoid not only of metre (dirty word/concept) but of any sense of rhythm or anything else that might distinguish a poem from a phone directory entry. Me, I find Matt's lovely, lively, craftsmanlike and almost instant improvisations catch my soul!

    Hail then to Matt, who's Bardically O so
    Nonpareil, worth rechristening Matto Grosso
    (After the well-known Brazilian jungle)
    Not one syllable-stress does he bungle,
    Rocking right on, rationing out rhythm and rhyme
    To the last syllable of recorded thyme
    (Not to mention parsley, rosemary and sage).
    Devoid of pretension and parsliflage,
    King of the Road to Scarborough Fair.
    Happy the fellow-poets who greet him there -
    As it might be Sallust or Simon or Garfunkool -
    Or the frigid free-versers, the Men from Uncool!

    Who can match his metric magic? I say very few!
    Q.e.d. me, who've had to resort here to clerihew!

    Cheers

    Chris


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  6. At 07:40 PM on 11 Feb 2007, Muriel Howarth wrote:

    I too would like a copy of the poem about Hercules. As my lovely 11 year old cat Murphy vanished without trace last Monday, the 5th Feb, I now have a cat shaped hole in my life and this poem perfectly summed up the sense of loss I have.
    Anyone who says it's only an animal has no idea what they're talking about.

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  7. At 11:46 AM on 12 Feb 2007, John Walker wrote:

    Congratulations on a truly delightful poem about the lately departed Hercules last Saturday.
    I caught the whole thing but my wife missed it so could you be kind enough to send me a copy for her.

    Thanks,

    John Walker

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  8. At 03:09 PM on 12 Feb 2007, wrote:

    Warm thanks to everyone for kind words, and especial thanks to Chris for the lovely poem and testimonial - I'm glowing all over!
    My Saturday poems will be up on this blog by Tuesday morning. If you can't wait, click on my name at the top of the page, and e-mail me.
    cheers
    Matt

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  9. At 10:40 PM on 12 Feb 2007, Dave wrote:

    Yes - another vote for the superb Hercules poem. I was and still am very moved by it.

    I was very surprised that it hadn't made to the Pick of the Week Program.

    I look forward to seeing it on the Blog soon.

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