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Saturday Live

things that offend

  • Fi Glover
  • 20 Jan 07, 07:30 AM

hello people.

now i know that the theme of excrement has come up on the programme more than is necessary under the terms and conditions of the new licence fee.

strictly speaking we should be having 2 per cent less crap in future programmes - orders from the government you understand. but for this week's show we are going to talk about dog mess on the streets.

it drives me bonkers.

cleaning it off the wheels of the buggy drives me even more bonkers and seeing people letting their dogs openly poop, without the scoop, will one day make me a crime statistic.

do you share this horror with me, or have i lost it completely?

you will notice that i haven't once asked you during this blog to decide between Shilpa or Jade. you can do so here, if you wish though. if you do it will make no difference to the outcome of BB but it seems to be the question of the day-

best and all
fi

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  1. At 09:13 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Nicole wrote:

    My worst nightmare is to step inadvertently in a dog's mess while I'm walking to or from work everyday. Instead of enjoying my 30-minute walk, I spend the time looking down to see where best to step to avoid the mess. Dog owners ignore the signs in my area that warn them of fines. Can someone do something about it?

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  2. At 09:17 AM on 20 Jan 2007, John Livingston wrote:

    Dog mess is an increasing problem round my locality in North Yorkshire and I have the distinct impression that it is often being caused by the same dog owner, who presumably exercises their dog early in the morning and looks about furtively before walking away. The person(s) responsible know that the likelihood of being caught is extremely low, so I think the only answer is for local councils to deploy small mobile CCTV systems that can temporarily cover likely places and eventually identify the culprit(s).

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  3. At 09:22 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Neil and Val wrote:

    Thoughtless dog owners ruin every country walk we take. Why is it that they feel it is unnecessary to clean up after their dogs just because they are on a country footpath or open space? ....Think of everyone else and their children please!

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  4. At 09:24 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Jim Stearn wrote:

    Fi,
    I am a responsible owner of two rescue dogs. They are chipped, clipped, jabbed, healthy and happy and walked under control. I walk them and I scoop the poop. Over most of Britain we are the only neighbourhood watch during the late evenings. Have yours ever been the nervously clicking heels of a woman walking home alone very late, so grateful for someone else being about?

    My dogs and I pick our way through the dog ends, vomit, broken lager bottles, cans, chewing gum, and sticky sweet wrappers, careful not to leave something far more bio-degradable than any of these. Yes, there are bad dog owners, but not as many as bad parents or bad drivers. If anyone regularly steps in what I call 'Polly Toynbee' they could always try looking where they are going.

    We don't have a dog problem anything like the cat problem. What is urgently needed is a simple law saying that if you own these things you keep them indoors or on druns in your garden.

    We run a big, well-stocked bird table. It is not these to provide a happy hunting ground for other peoples killer moggies. Most of all, can we have the dog poo fine extended to anyone whose cat craps in my flower beds?

    There are dog people and cat people. The latter seem to dominate the media. How handy to bugger off all day leaving your animal to its own devices whilst you whinge on air about dogs which threaten your precious bloody Tibbles.(Perhaps I am wronging you. Perhaps you are not a cat person, just one more rupertess with unresolved potty training hangups.)

    Balance please.

    Jim

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  5. At 09:38 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Simon Pollitt wrote:

    I live in a village were there are a number of dogs and I really like them but - get this - People are a little lazt to the extent that they will bag the pooh up and leave it on our drive! What am I meant to put this in the bin for them!

    I have become a very sad person and got obsession!

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  6. At 09:38 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Margaret Gordon wrote:

    Could we have a psychologist who could explain the minds of dog walkers who carefully tie their dog poo in a poly bag then throw it away?
    I'd love to know how their minds work.

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  7. At 09:43 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Graham Rogers wrote:

    You asked for comments about dog poo. I think that is amazing that a nation such as ours has somehow come to the bizarre conclusion that it sensible to put dog poo in plastic bags! What were we thinking?

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  8. At 09:43 AM on 20 Jan 2007, wrote:

    If you live or walk away from city streets, there has been the extraordinary phenomenon of the plastic bag of dog mess used as scenic decoration, cast raffishly into trees, hung like baubles on the hedge, or just marking the sides of the path. What is it that drives people to pick up in the 1st place, and then fling it away to take years to rot while degrading the environment for all of us? Have you ever seen anyone do it (particularly the bag-in-the-tree thing)?

    I spoke to someone I saw leaving it by the sied of the path, and they said that they were coming back to get it later, but meanwhile it was litter for anyone who passed.

    I have become a bit of an anorak on this subject (it is in the top 10 hates in public surveys across Europe, and top of MPs post bags). Carrying the used bag for any length of time is horrid, so I came up with a very simple brainwave, hence the website www.muksak.com. As well as an easy solution, there are some facts on there people might not be aware of, such as the impact of uncollected dog mess on some conservation areas such as coastal SSSIs, and on farmstock.

    Delighted to get any links or views for posting on the website (or pictures of your dog).

    Alison

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  9. At 09:47 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Alan Bullimore wrote:

    apropos nothing on the programme,one thing that really offends me is people who say incentivize instead of motivate. Are we all to become incentizated to write silly emails to the Beeb?

    Best wishes

    Alan Bullimore

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  10. At 09:49 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Graham Rogers wrote:

    You asked for comments about dog poo. I think that is amazing that a nation such as ours has somehow come to the bizarre conclusion that it sensible to put dog poo in plastic bags! What were we thinking?

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  11. At 09:50 AM on 20 Jan 2007, jules wrote:

    Dog Poo
    Think of the poor Parkie!
    He or she cuts the grass, often with an industrial sized 'trim&edge'!
    Literally a case of Faeces meets Fan... and guess where most of the former goes?
    Jules

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  12. At 09:51 AM on 20 Jan 2007, susie bower wrote:

    what about all the people who pick up the poo in a plastic bag and hang it on the bushes or leave on the path. what makes them do this

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  13. At 09:51 AM on 20 Jan 2007, TaxDeclan wrote:

    The reason I thought Sue Perkins was more interesting last week was her speech sounded as if she was interested in what she was talking about. Fi sounds bored, few inflections in her speech (perhaps 'cool'?). The programme's cointent has always been good. Ditto between Fi and Eddie Mair on Broadcasting House. Sorry Fi!

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  14. At 09:52 AM on 20 Jan 2007, wrote:

    If you look at the following link you will find that the Recycle Works sell a bio-degradable bag for collecting Dog Poo. We also offer a Dog Poo Loo. And if this is not enough we have a Dog Poo Magic which can be sprayed onto the poo and assist quick biodegrading.

    Dog Poo need not be a problem

    We also have a Poo Magic that will biodegrade the poo in a portable loo when out camping, boating and outdoor activities!

    I do not intend this to be commercial but it is a resolution to a problem that offends

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  15. At 10:05 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Anne James wrote:

    I heard the discussion today about bagging dog excrement which I whole-heartedly support. However, please, please raise the issue of poo-filled bags being left on footpaths, in the woods, hung on trees, I even came across one hung on the bus stop recently. If dog poo is to be bagged, please dispose of it properly not left for the rest of us to be grateful to the "responsible dog owner"!

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  16. At 10:53 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Honey Perry wrote:

    Fi rules! Sue sounds forced and unnatural. I was so disappointed when I heard her and not Fi last week. Fi is understated and droll. She makes me smile with pleasure as I sit up in bed sipping my Earl Grey. I missed her when she was away having her baby. No, I'm not a lesbian! I loved Ed too.

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  17. At 10:59 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Honey Perry wrote:

    My dog was not a guide dog but I trained her to respond to "do a poo" and "do a wee" when we were in an appropriate place. She always chose instinctively to go behind a bush or somewhere secluded and I encouraged that from the start. She was a bit cheeky though because sometimes, if she wanted to do something else, she would do a quick squat and pretend that she had done a wee just so that she could get on with what interested her more. TRAIN THE OWNERS.

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  18. At 11:25 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Ann Keight wrote:

    Hi Fi, Enjoyed the programme, always quirky and interesting.
    Years ago I wrote to our local paper to complain about dog mess in our village. A patch of grass outside our house was a favourite place. Things came to a head when my three children bought in on their shoes a load of this disgusting mess and dashed upstairs to use the toilet.
    After retrieving shoes I then had to scrub my hall stairs and landing carpet while heaving away. The people who let their dogs foul the streets should be made to come in and clean it up. I must say the letter did make a difference though. The grass stayed clear for a long time after. I also asked the council to put up signs asking people to please pick up after your dog. The thing is to get up the noses of folk who foul the streets. They would not presumbly stand their fouling the street themselves so why let their dogs do it!

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  19. At 11:36 AM on 20 Jan 2007, Lynne Crowe wrote:

    Yes, Fi, of course you say cheese instead of choose. All women under a certain age do it. . It may be because you have been trained to smile when you talk on the phone or on the radio because a smile can be heard. When bearing your teeth all 'u's become 'ee's. This is why the future is now 'the feature' and the news is now 'the knees', and when you ring a department store, the girl says 'Good morninThankYeForCallinHarMyHarpYee?'

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  20. At 05:23 PM on 20 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Before talking about dog mess, I would like to recommend a pie in the face for Jade for her actions. I even recommend it in my blog:
    alvarezgalloso.blogster.com

    I would like it as a Birthday Present [I turn 45 years old] on March 5.

    In response to Nicole, I have had to replace my shoes because of the dog's mess in my yard. This happens on the way to work.

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  21. At 05:49 PM on 20 Jan 2007, Colin Miller wrote:

    Hi Fi,
    Great programme, I'm that old I remember the good stuff you did at GLR that I used to hear when I lived up Lunnon way. We now live in Cornwall and have discovered that many dog owners here haven't heard about it being unsociable to leave dog poo on the pavement for the unsuspecting to be caught unawares and feel the 'silent footfall and skid' in the dark. This is on a road with a very wide grass verge between the pavement and road where millions (perhaps less) of slugs lay in wait for their favourite dietary treat to appear. One 'considerate' owner has even stood on the pavement and allowed the passing of poo to take place on our front drive, just handily positioned by the front of our trailer to try and catch me out as I'm hitching it up later.
    I would dearly love to catch the culprit(s) and put into practice the advice I read in the Sunday Times many years ago - namely place the offending poo in a paper bag and take it to the house where the pooch lives, place it on the front step, set alight to the bag and ring the door bell. Dog owner (hopefully) opens door and seeing flames stamps them out, hopefully with gusto. Oh yes, don't forget the run away bit just after ringing the door bell even though you then miss the look of horror on their face when they find they have been duped - or is that pooped? Although the practice is not probably endorsed by leading Fire Safety Officers, as it was suggested in the Sunday Times that's good enough for me. If only I could run fast I'd love to try it out and report back whether it proved effective. It would make me feel better anyway. Probably best to make sure nobody's watching you creep up to their house and set alight to something on their step come to think of it - not the sort of behaviour to merit 'neighbour of the year' award being bestowed.
    I am by the way a dog lover and reckon that if a blind person I know can clear up her dog's poo (by feel) when he has been in the garden then anyone who can actually see should easily be able to clean up after their precious hound.
    All the best, keep up the good work!!

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  22. At 06:40 PM on 20 Jan 2007, Wendy wrote:

    Dogs are not to blame it is the irresponsible owners. Leaving the poo or bagging and failing to bin. There seems to be a rash of the smelly decorations to accompany dumped rubbish and fly tipping. Bagged dog poo. Why on earth do people do that! No imagination, no thought and no consideration.

    Then there are cats which poo in other peoples gardens and their owners don't care a jot! Cat poo is just as dangerous to children as that of dogs, which at least you can see!

    Have you thought about what you may be walking on when you stop in a layby? Humans are just as bad not pooing but I wonder just how much pee there is that we walk in. Lay bys, shop doorways from the night before. Builders and men at roadworks peeing on the pavement outside your house......... ugh ........ I can almost guarantee that each time I go out I see a man peeing beside the road.

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  23. At 07:23 PM on 20 Jan 2007, michael archer wrote:

    I'm really glad Fi is back. She makes my day listening to her gorgeous voice while I do my very boring job on a saturday in the asda store that I'm imprisoned in.

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  24. At 11:42 AM on 21 Jan 2007, Bob wrote:

    I was driving tsome back roads and I didn't completely take in the poem about scooping the poop. What I retained was wonderful. Is it published or somewhere else on this site? Thank you as I know a few people who's attention I would like to bring it to.

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  25. At 01:04 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Maria - Exec Producer wrote:

    Many thanks for all your comments.

    Bob, you can find Murray's poems by clicking on 'Meet the Poet' in the top right corner of your screen.

    One more thing - we're going to swop 'My Philosophy' for 'If Only I'd Known' from next week. So... if you have something you really wish someone had told you sooner - from "frozen roast potatoes really aren't a patch on the real thing" to my own "learning to type won't mean you'll spend your life a typist - it'll actually be really useful and stop you looking a complete idiot in the office" - then do email us at saturdaylive@bbc.co.uk or post a comment on this page. We'd love to hear from you!
    Best
    Maria

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  26. At 12:59 PM on 25 Jan 2007, wrote:

    I'm amazed that dog poo has captivated so many! Personally, I find human poo far more interesting. Or the disposal of it - to be precise.

    We laugh and joke about poo but in many parts of the world, people poo in plastic bags and chuck them into the street. Or they poo onto heaps half the size of a football pitch and many feet high... you can imagine what happens when it rains. Ladies have to 'hold on' until nightfall where they risk being attacked.

    In fact almost half the world's population - 2.6 billion people - don't have access to adequate sanitation. Over the last 100 years, more lives have been lost as a result of unclean water and poor sanitation than any other cause. I was stunned to hear that 5000 children die every day from diarrhoa and they can die within 4 to 8 hours.

    It wasn't that long ago that thousands were dying in London and other cities from cholera and other water-bourne/sanitation linked diseases. The health transformation was a result of the building of the sewage system.

    One of the Millennium Development Goals is to halve the number of people without access to decent sanitation and it's the most 'off tack' of all the goals.

    I'd love to see more people talking about HUMAN poo and pushing for more attention and funding to tackle the issue.

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  27. At 09:49 AM on 03 Mar 2007, Shellard Evelyne wrote:

    Dear Fi,
    I feel that many of the comments of your guest about Alzheimer will be hurtful to the thousands of carers who would love to"communicate" and cannot, however loving they are.
    My mother died after being cared for by my elderly father for 5 years and then spent another 8 in a specialised service. He visited her every day and helped feed her. Whenever I was in France I did the same.
    Yet only during the very ,very early years did she communicate. Yes there were a few "funny "moments but mostly it was heartrending. She was taking Aricept at a time it was banned in England and received the latest in hospital care. For the 8 years she was in hospital I must have seen hundreds of patuints. A few spoke but many more did not at all- a few had bouts of screaming.
    I remain unconvinced by your guest

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  28. At 09:23 AM on 24 Mar 2007, Audrey Raishbrook wrote:

    Stop moaning about the dog mess and try to catch the culprit (I mean the owner of the dog obviously) and confront them. I remember when I lived in London fifty years ago, dogs were allowed to roam without their owner and there was dog mess was 'everywhere'! It was part of life just as smoking was accepted.
    signed...Never smoked nor owned a dog.
    Regards

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  29. At 09:56 AM on 14 Apr 2007, michael lee wrote:

    I was born and raised in Los Angeles County. I have lived in the UK for 25 years, and have been a member of the Bar of England and Wales with Chambers in London for 20 years.
    You know as much about LA as someone who says, "I have been to the Eye, Madam Toussards
    and Legoland, and I'm tight with London."
    I was actually raised in Culver City who's nick name is, "The Heart of Screenland". That is where MGM, DesiLu and Hal Roach Studios were wheen studios meant anything. Hollywood is nothing. I just returned to LA after bad mouthing it and an absense of 4 years. Now I know why Santa Monica/LA has the biggest expatriate Brit population in the world.

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  30. At 08:03 PM on 03 May 2007, Ivor StaPLES wrote:

    I have produced, and have a working ptototype for alleviating K.9.P. an Poo In our Parks,Beaches and Public Places, it is called The Poo Sac, and it works, But The Letter and Discription ar to long to type it all in this little Box, so could you Please Provide me with an e-mail Address I could use to send to you pictures as well

    In anticipation

    Ivor

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