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Saturday Live

Crap Surfers of the World Unite!

  • Sue Perkins
  • 13 Jan 07, 07:33 AM

Well howdy all, and a very Happy New Year. Sue Perkins here, standing in for Fi Glover, who is busy this week finalising details of her $250 million transfer to LA Galaxy.

This Satuday, we showcase Cornwall's , who held their World Championchips at Praa Sands near Penzance a few weeks ago. This brave band of sandeaters, with their underwhelming aquatic abilities, are an example to us all - passionate about their hobby and equally passionate about being bad at it.

Do you have a hobby you are crap at? Do you wish to meet others who are just as crap as you? If so, then we'd love to hear from you - do get in touch.

Joining me in the studio will be the silver fox of the ballroom, Len Goodman, star of Strictly Come Dancing, and Carrie Reichardt, who became penpals with a murderer on Death Row.

Our extraordinary story charts Chris Needham's journey from coalminer to ecologist, and Eastenders actress, Tracy-Ann Oberman will be revealing her Inheritance Tracks.

Join me, Saturday at 9 o'clock

best wishes,

Sue

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  1. At 09:06 AM on 13 Jan 2007, wrote:

    .. Just a word about all the Morrissey doing Eurovision jokes.. the "Smiths miserable" jokes are OUT OF DATE.. sorry to come over all po-faces, but his last two albums are "grumpy" not
    "miserable"...and the music is a superb sort of "muscle pop"..the melodies are much stronger, and his singing is much better than Smiths days...and as far as any incongruity in Mozza doing the contest..He is OBVIOUSLY a shoe-in for it..the video for "you have killed me"
    makes out like he's on it ..he is a big Sandie Shaw fan, she recorded a Smith's song for goodness sake!..ahh Whaevvah!
    Chris Morrell

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  2. At 09:14 AM on 13 Jan 2007, Paul Beck wrote:

    Crap surfers? What is happening to Radio 4? Crap is a NOUN, not an adjective.

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  3. At 09:18 AM on 13 Jan 2007, Kevin Melia wrote:

    Sue, no offence taken over "crap surfing" but really, get your pronunciation of the venue right. It's "Pray Sands" not "Praah Sands".

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  4. At 09:40 AM on 13 Jan 2007, Paul Cantoni wrote:

    Sue Perkins asked on her programme this morning if I objected to the use of the word "crap" on Radio 4, and invited me to "look away" if I did.

    I do, I did - I turned off.

    May we have more wit, and less juvenile snigger on Saturdays please? When will this dreadful programme go?

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  5. At 09:43 AM on 13 Jan 2007, Krishna Edwin wrote:

    If its in a shed, surely its an eaeth closet?

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  6. At 09:52 AM on 13 Jan 2007, Simon rRad wrote:

    Sue
    Congratulations on a great programme. i don't agree with paul cantoni
    Life is full of excrement as well as other things some people don't like to acknowledge including waste and rubbish. Have a thought for those working in excrement and rubbish - where would we all be without such people!
    Congratulations on the content of your programme. Lets hope Glover manages to agree her transfer to LA
    Simon Read

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  7. At 10:20 AM on 13 Jan 2007, Graham Seale wrote:

    Oh but had I known of your crap surfer community two years ago. The gaudy neoprene hangs in the unfinished bathroom (there are other things I am crap at!), while I give consideration to another attempt.

    Even getting up onto a board into any position other than one roughly the same as when rolling around in a bed requires a certain agility. I am into the wrong half of my 5th decade and about as fit as a sloth on cocaine, but the main problem turns out to be the body fraction that is heavy bones. Put briefly - I sink! The specific gravity is not up to it. The fat guys float easy. Thats not like me.

    At Hayle, Cornwall, I purchased TWO body-surfing boards and a reel of duck tape to fashion a double-thick version that had some chance of holding me up. As for the longer variety, the surfboard shop daily hire section could provide only the shabbiest long blue board, with the covering separating from the structure that looked like it was thick enough to have a chance. In the end, it was possible to sometimes progress a bit in the wave direction, on hands and knees, grimly clutching the board, which remained completely submerged until it hit the shore.

    Crap surfer expertise is one thing. It becomes a desperate lonely business when one is also hopelessly uncool among the found surfing community who can at least look like there is a board under them when they are "paddling out" !

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  8. At 11:56 AM on 13 Jan 2007, Martin Richards wrote:

    Listened to the Saturday Live programme this morning and had to switch off.

    The programme's objective is clearly to offend and reach an abysmal low in 91热爆 broadcasting.

    Please do us all a favour and clean your act up.

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  9. At 12:48 PM on 13 Jan 2007, nick newton wrote:

    just to say that sue perkins has a terrific manner, is sharp, never lost for words, a delight to listen to. this is not a reflection on anyone she may be standing in for. she has a glittering future ahead of her.

    Nick Newton (lucky father of Thandie Newton....don't say you've never heard of her...)

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  10. At 01:12 PM on 13 Jan 2007, Carol wrote:

    Some semantics here:
    CRAP as used here is obviously an acronym for 'Cannot Reach Acceptable Proficiency'. It has nothing to do with bad language or excreta, so not even the most sensitive of 91热爆 presenters need have any worries about using it (about cricketers, MPs, train operators, proud Cornish surfers etc)

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  11. At 06:25 PM on 13 Jan 2007, Sara wrote:

    Well, I tried. I did wonder if my absolute, utter and complete loathing of this programme was purely because of the way I feel about Fee Glovebox. When I heard Sue Perkins - who I quite like really - was presenting it this week, I allowed my radio to stay on beyond nine. But no, even without everyones most despised prefect its still a hideous piece of self satisfied middle class trivialising twaddle.


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  12. At 08:39 PM on 13 Jan 2007, Mary Dodkins wrote:

    Re excrement on the radio and when it should happen - well I say about a couple of hours after ate of course!

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  13. At 11:30 PM on 13 Jan 2007, Katie wrote:

    I thought Sue Perkins was wonderful this morning, and really enjoyed her contribution. I hope the 91热爆 gives Sue her own programme soon.

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  14. At 05:17 PM on 14 Jan 2007, Phailup Tellbit wrote:

    May I politely request more 'juvenile sniggering' on Sat Rad 4 please?
    And let's go beyond 'crapping to 'shitting' as well too thank you!
    Sue sure wassa perky figo stand-in ... ho ho ho ...

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  15. At 08:47 PM on 14 Jan 2007, simon wrote:

    perhaps if Sue wants to go back to the stationery cupboard we should let her, I was wondering if the 91热爆 has a key?

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  16. At 09:05 PM on 15 Jan 2007, fay sweet wrote:

    Oh dear.. this week's programme was a tad sad.. I'm sure Sue Perkins is a loveable, warm human being, but I fear this programme is not an ideal vehicle for her talents. I've rarely heard anyone struggle to try so hard.. with so little positive effect. Saturday Live is a turkey. Please can we have something else in this slot?

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  17. At 01:36 PM on 16 Jan 2007, wrote:

    It is interesting to see how people feel about my favourite slice of "self satisfied middle class trivialising twaddle." I suspect we have a culture clash here, i'm one of the younger generation of self satisfied middle class trivialisers and i love radio four hugely. I did not hear this show and i'm annoyed that the listen again seems to not be playing but The Fig Lover is a brilliant, intellegent and funny presenter and according to my friends, Superkings gave her a real run for her money. (See you in Falmouth soon by the way Sue.)

    I believe the disparate listeners of Radio 4 can learn to get along. If i can put up with Thought for the Day, then surely the rest of you can put up with Saturday Live.

    dD x

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  18. At 08:15 PM on 16 Jan 2007, Richard Holmes wrote:

    I caught the start of Saturday Live by mistake and did not turn off like I usually do, how much longer is Sue going to be presenting. She is a refreshing change from the sooo! hyper Fi Glover and much more suited to this programme.

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  19. At 09:54 AM on 17 Jan 2007, David Howman wrote:

    Some 91热爆 Truths - When will this diatribe of garbage be taken off the air and 91热爆 Truths re-instated ? I have never heard such a load of mundane mediocrity broacast before on Radio 4. I tried for several weeks to get to like the programme but it is impossible. The new Controller of Radio 4 promised a worthy replacement for 91热爆 Truths but all we have is a dismal failure, and that's being generous. The sooner David Stafford returns with 91热爆 Truths the better, either that or the Controller of Radio 4 should resign. I have taken to listening to a tap drip on Saturday mornings between 9.00 - 10.00 and it is a refreshing change to the Radio 4 broadcast.

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  20. At 02:31 PM on 18 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Interesting.

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  21. At 03:16 PM on 18 Jan 2007, Jane wrote:

    How I agree with Sara. A few weeks ago, I happened to notice a guest presenter, so allowed the radio to stay on for 30 seconds. (I can't listen to Fi Glover without feeling irritated very quickly.)But no, the whole idea is just bad.

    And now I hear that another phone-in show is starting, fronted by Fi Glover. Oh dear.

    So thanks, Radio 4, for giving me another opportunity to do something else rather than listen to the radio.

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  22. At 03:53 PM on 18 Jan 2007, RUTH BISHOP wrote:

    'My Husband & I' will not listen to this programme with Fi Glover presenting - nor her new programme on Thursday p.m. We are with those who complained bitterly to Feedback about her general style, had to give up listening to Broadcasting House when she was on - and is it true she will still be presenting this programme in years to come?
    Gather you do not take into account comments from feedback - David Dimbleby could not understand that he is so annoying, always interrupting his panel. We (and some friends) all had a good laugh at his disbelief!

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