Eric Pickles' patented cure for insomnia
Eric Pickles has hit on the perfect way to send you off to sleep.
Eric Pickles may not be flavour of the month with our councils at the moment, but credit where credit's due, he seems to have hit on a failsafe cure for insomnia.
I certainly found myself nodding off today when I began combing through the newly-published records of our local authorities' expenditure.
It's Mr Pickles' push for transparency we have to thank for the tsunami of data that's now being posted by councils.
By January 31, the Communities and Local Government Secretary wants all local authorities to come into line and publish itemised lists of any spending abopve £500.
Some have already complied, and .
So for your delectation and edification, I have already discovered that in Cumbria spent around £1,300 on toilet cleaning in October last year.
Could The Grumbleweeds now be emptying Darlington's bins?
I've also found out that comedy group The Grumbleweeds were paid £5,392 by (presumably to appear at the local theatre rather than empty the bins, or reorganise social services).
And I've uncovered that seemed to spend around £3,500 on aerial photography for last year's Tall Ships festival.
Oh, and did you know that spent more than £3,000 on buying new library books last December.
Are you still awake? Nodding off? Pull yourself together. We've only got to M in the list of councils, there's still half the alphabet to go.
Just imagine what I went through to unearth those gems for you.
Actually, I didn't spend that long because I just couldn't face it, and that is perhaps the point.
Transparency is very laudable, but I wonder just who is going to have the time and inclination to go through such a pile of information.
I have always fancied being the man to uncover a Watergate-style scandal in our councils, but when you consider that one month's expenditure by Durham County Council covers 374 pages, I would have to dedicate my whole career to forensically examining just a year's worth of data.
And even then, how obvious would a scandal be?
Let's say I believed a council leader was paying his brother sweeteners, I'll probably never know as details of inidvidual names are kept confidential by many of the local authorities.
There are also countless entries that prompt further questions, but again who has the time to follow all those up?
Then there is the potential expense. The Government insists it's a simple cost-free process, but the Bishop Auckland MP begs to differ.
, saying Durham County Council believes it'll use up the time of two full-time staff members to collate the data.
But Mr Pickles insists this is the right thing to do, and I suppose if you want the information it is there now.
Or at least most of it is.
So far in our region Allerdale, Barrow, Copeland, Darlington, Durham, Hambleton, Hartlepool, Middlesbrough, Newcastle, North Tyneside, Richmondshire, South Lakeland, Stockton and Sunderland councils .
But Cumbria, Carlisle, Northumberland, Gateshead, South Tyneside, Redcar and Cleveland, and North Yorkshire have yet to comply.
Eric Pickles can't force them to, but I am sure they won't be top of his Christmas card list if they don't meet the deadline of 31 January.
Anyway, I must go, I've just discovered that you can also now look online at . Perfect timing for my afternoon snooze.
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