I've got a confession
I can't get out of my mind a conversation I had with Mark Oaten a few months ago when I pressed him on whether he'd ever run for his party's leadership.
He had, he confessed, one big worry.
"Would people ever accept a leader who…" He began to move around awkwardly and to avoid direct eye contact.
"Who's what, Mark?" I demanded to know.
"Well, who's... forgive me, putting it this way, Nick..."
"Go on," I urged him.
"Well.. who's balding."
How we laughed. Believe me, though, this was a real worry for him and ever since, I saw no sign of any others. If only he'd let that put him off runnning for the leadership and doing that photo opportunity with his family. If only.
Comments
Since Mark Oaten wasn't doing anything illegal, he really has nothing to answer for. The British press seem obsesssed with the sex lives of people in public office. Maybe we are all just worried that all of them from Profumo to Oaten are having a better time than the rest of us. Surely it would be bettere to have somebody flambuoyant and colourful who is competent at their job, than a puritan who isn't?
If only, if only... we had a media who could hold back from revealing salacious but politically irrelevant facts about MPs...
The end result seems to be that MPs who are fairly 'decent' (in the political sense) end up throwing in the towel, whereas their dreary, uninspired and generally two-faced colleagues get promoted and end up running the country... into the ground.
It would have been reassuring to see the Liberals (and maybe even members of the other parties) band together to confront the gutter press on this matter and thereby turn the tables on them. Sadly they seemed instead to take political advantage of this revelation - obviously ignoring the fact that they at least some of them will no doubt end up sharing the same fate at some point in the future.
Personally I don't feel that Oaten can be accused of significant hypocrisy - anyone checking out his website will see that although he did not promote his 'gay' lifestyle, neither did he hype his 'straight' marriage - as far as I can see there is just one brief line mentioning his wife and daughters.
And the TV interview in the kitchen at his home was just that - unlike so many other MPs he had the decency to avoid dragging a reluctant spouse and offspring into camera to use for campaigning material.
Here's a question Nick. If instead Mark Oaten had made a veiled reference to infidelity, how would you have handled it?
I wouldn't consider anyone who hasn't had a relationship with a male prostitute a "puritan". I also find the backlash against any criticism of Oaten as blatant "right-on" flag waving.
Oaten was having a relationship which many would view as risky, particularly with regards to his career and marriage. Those in public office know the degree to which their public life will be scrutinised, it's an extension of political accountability. Whether right or wrong it was extemely foolish of Oaten.
If only... politicians didn't try to involve people's personal lives and habits in their policies, mentioning family values over and over and over, there'd be no obvious hypocrisy for the media to reveal.
Well, as some one who has only known New Labour throughout his early adult years, I am glad to finally experience some real political sleaze. As if the Kennedy admittance wasn't enough, we now have Oaten's peccadiloes to read about! One worrying aspect, however, is that the Sunday newspaper I read or the evening news bulletin I watched didn't have Oaten on the front page or in their headlines. They were more interrested about the Thames' whale. Is this a sad indictment of modern politics and/or the media?
The media is out of control at the moment. They seek and destroy anyone if they decide for whatever reason that they must go. They use as justification 'public interest' even if a particular journalist, when quizzed, doesn't agree with 'public interest' in this case or even if (as with Sven) the public don't either.
Oaten resigned because the press wouldn't have stopped going on and on about his affair until he resigned. Why? Not because they think having an affair is morally wrong, or because being gay is something they disapprove of. Rather, it's just that once the scent blood they can't help but kill.
Politicians and other public figures are thus compelled to make a devil's pact with the media. They give them what they want in the language they want, for fear of either an exploitation of personal weakness or, more commonly, a random backlash. The media then has the nerve to complain that politics has become sanitised and lifeless - when it is they themselves that have demanded that politicians speak not to the needs of the people but to those of the fourth estate.
As far as the gutter press goes its a harsh reality to face up to. One where the tabloids effectively make or break politicians, and where more people get their daily politics from The Sun, than The Times!
Ever since the 80's, (s)he who controlled the Sun, controlled the country. I can't see that changing any time soon!
Oh come on, get real This revelation highlights perfectly why Mark Oaten and more generally the 'senior' LibDems are unfit for office. Where was the judgement here? Oaten didn't think he would be caught out. How could he possibly have thought he could get away with it? The naivety is breathtaking. I'm no supporter of the News of the World, but this really was a gift to them.
We seek to trust our politicians, as they seek to represent our views. Even in our modern, liberal society, people still view an extra-marital affair a betrayal of trust. Can I forsee a time when the electorate doesn't bat an eyelid at a potential prime minister having an affair with a male prostitute. Hardly.
Hi Nick
Regardless of whether the press should take the purient line that they inevitably do is not the issue here - surely Mark Oaten MUST have realised that this story would come out at some point?
I don't understand how the vanity and ambition of leadership contestants makes them hope that they will be "the one to get away with it". The question is really one about judgement - and Mark Oaten displayed that he was sorely lacking in this (by standing knowing this story was out there). Surely this ought to disqualify him from deserving a place as a leader of a major political party.
This type of story happens too often to hide behind the "private lives should be private" argument - polticians should grow up and learn to control their vanity. You cannot stand if you have a "past" and are worried about what might happen if the story is uncovered - it will be!!
What a nation of hypocrites we are. We demand in our politicians a standard of purity that is so high that on a human level it is impossible to achieve. Then, when the inevitable "dark secret" is revealed (always at a telling moment) we publicly crucify those who at least have had the courage to try and make this country a better place, safe in the knowledge that our own weaknesses will never suffer exposure through the media to a salivating public. As a result, we get the politicians we deserve. There is no honour or honesty in modern Britain. Can we really expect our leaders to be any different?
Well, I must admit, here's a politician that's done the right thing and resigned straightaway instead of hanging on and prolonging any agony that may affect his family.
In essence, the only person Mr Oaten has cheated is his wife, but in the months to come, if he had atained high office in the Lib Dem parlour, and maintained a family veneer, then who would he have been cheating? Yes, you've guessed it, the people of Winchester who voted for him.
I wonder to what extent people have allowed their judgement to be clouded by political loyalties? I'm pretty sure that alot of people now downplaying the actions of Mark Oaten would have gleefully condemned any senior Labour or Conservative politician if they had been found doing the same thing. But now of course, paying for sex with a rent boy is all just part of the cut and thrust of public life. Nothing to worry about.
The Liberal Democrats trade on their reputation as normal sort of people, trustworthy, honest, idealistic even, certainly not political opportunists. This incident, along with Kennedy's confession of alcoholism will do tremendous harm to them at the ballot box.
My first reaction to this story was that he is a member of the liberal democrats, and shouldn't they as a result of being liberal be tolerant of 'alternative' lifestyle choices.
Whilst there seem to be many who deplore the conduct of the Media in this case, it is worth pointing out the following;
It was Mark Oaten who invited the camaras into his house to get good PR for his leadership bid
It was HE that therefore invited positive commentary as a leadership candidate but using HIS family as illustration of that suitability.
HE opened the door, not the other way round.
There are a number of openly gay MPs. It is no longer a bar to political office in any major party these days.
If Mark had been either
1) Honest or;
2) Made his private life off limits and not used his family as political tool in the first place;
Then may be he would still be a front-bencher today.
Mark Oaten is not the first and will not be the last MP to have suffered due to none but their own actions. The press may sometimes act as judge, jury and executioner, but it is 9 times out of 10 because they have an open and shut case presented to them.
Neil Kinnock, William Hague,Iain Duncan Smith... in a media-driven world people always vote for a full head of hair!
Yes, we are a nation of hypocrites.
But demanding politicians seeking high office to maintain higher standards than ourselves is not itself hypocritical. Such standards are simply a requirement of the job they seek.
There is plenty of evidence to show that we are now sufficiently mature to accept politicians who are gay, and not condemn those who have difficulties in their private lives.
What is more difficult to accept is the situation when a politician's private life involves conflicts which might influence his or her conduct in office. For example a potential exposure to blackmail.
Oaten's private life seems to have been sufficiently conflicted to disqualify him from office. It's a pity that the message was carried in the tabloid press with all the prurience and hypocrisy that entails, but the message is a legitimate one.
We can all bemoan the state of the media and argue whether Mr Oaten had a heightened sense of moral duty while he paid for sex or while he didn't, but the fact of the matter is we do have a salacious press, we do have a public who buys the output of that press in vast quantities and we do have politicians who still appear to believe that they can keep what they clearly regard as scandals out of the public eye.
That's reality. We may not like it, but this is the atmosphere in which Mark Oaten showed an error of judgement. Not in paying for sex with a rent boy. Not in being gay. Not in deceiving his family, if he did. But simply in thinking it would not come out as a scandal if he set himself up as a potential prime minister. On those grounds alone he shows himself unfit for office.
The media is complicit in the majority of these scandals and conceals them until it suits them to be 'shocked' and reveal them - the press was more than aware of David Blunkett's affair, everyone was aware of Charles Kennedy's alcohlisnm And if you worked in the Palace of Westminster it was painfully obvious). No doubt they were aware of this as well.
Blame the press, perhaps. Blame the people who buy into their rubbish and the politicians who think standards only apply to other people? Definitely.
I'm a Conservative not a Lib-Dem and I thought it was great for British politics when David Cameron rode out the media storm over his drug using past and still managed to become leader of the party and potential Prime Minister. Rather than backing down over his past, he stood his ground and the Daily Mail eventually gave up its campaign.
I'm disappointed that Oaten and the Lib Dems have done the opposite. Oaten has cheated on nobody except his wife, he shouldn't have resigned and his colleagues should have offered him support rather than saying what he did was wrong but the parties bigger than him. If this is the real reason he pulled out of the leadership race just days before, then this is an even bigger shame.
I'm sure that had it been any senior Labour or Conservative politician they would have been condemned. But this is a Liberal Democrat we're talking about and the response that most people have had seems appropriate both in terms of common sense and in the light of a liberal ideology. His private life is his own and it should not affect his public position, unless it causes him to act in a way that compromises or harms his constituents or the party. (I mean really harm, not slightly embarrass).
Oaten has shown a sorry lack of judgement but the only people he's really harmed are those who are personally close to him. It would be wonderful if politicians and the readership of the newspapers would take a stand to show that we're not interested in this kind of story. Unfortunately most people are interested and there's political capital to be made from it.
Where does Oaten's departure leave Lembit Opik? Having backed first Kennedy and then Oaten, it's no surprise that his name is now being described as "Estonian for 'the kiss of death'". Hughes next?
I urge Lembit Opek to run in the leadership contest before nominations close tomorrow.Hes charismatic,bright and engaging.He would be a breath of fresh air for the Lib Dems and British politics.How about it Lembit?
Hughes next to experience the Opik magic touch.
Lembit Opik has been pretty fastidious so far in his refusal to name the candidate who will be next to 'enjoy' his support in the leadership race. But it looks to me as if he may inadvertantly have 'outed' himself on today's Daily Politics by revealing that his eye is not on the leadership, but on the party presidency.
Lembit's progress towards this goal would be made considerably easier were the current incumbent to move on to another position...