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Paper Monitor

14:52 UK time, Tuesday, 2 April 2013

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

The Easter break is over. People are back at work. Well, some people anyway.

For those that are, the Daily Mail seems to have taken it upon itself to cheer up commuters.

it says.

The story? Eight in 10 of us drive our fellow passengers up the wall, it reports. The most infuriating habits? Playing loud, thumping music through headphones, pushing past people on to a carriage and putting shoes on seats.

Meanwhile, just shy of one in three of us regularly fall asleep and snore, while a fifth of us try to peer over people's shoulders to read their newspapers, it goes on.

If the commute hasn't put people's nose out of joints, the paper brings news of another thing that might.

and start conversations with "hi", it says.

Three in 10 of us are fed up with strangers - from cold-callers to coffee shop workers - treating us like friends, it reports. Far better to use Mr, Mrs, Miss, it advises.

Well, what a jolly lot the Daily Mail seems to think we are today. Paper Monitor is glad being, ahem, late didn't feature.

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