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Surely the best sign - seen somewhere at a Northamptonshie NHS facility is: "Family Planning Centre - please use rear entrance."
James Dawkins, London

"Police notice no parking" it said. But they did notice, and I got a ticket.
Tim, London

In Ireland a pub had a notice on a closed door which read "Please use the back entrance. The back door is at the front." Also a church hall had a notice saying ''Slimming club every Monday.. slimmers please the double doors at the back of the hall to enter.''
Tim McMahon, Martos/Spain

A classic, underneath the road name sign for Old Station Approach in Winchester - "Chesil Street Multi-Storey Car Park. No parking at any time". It has only very recently been replaced by one which makes a bit more sense.
Catherine, Southampton, UK

"Dogs must be carried" signs on escalators - I'm always looking round for a dog - maybe a toy one will suffice. A blind corridor at work just has the sign 'Caution' on it - of what?Sarah Nuttall, London, UK

For years I've been tempted to add to signs saying "Cement Works" - "Yes, it does..."
John Airey, Peterborough, UK

Peter (Tuesday's letters) - in the interests of brevity I may have underplayed my hand. I give you Soorjo Alexander William Langobard Oliphant Chuckerbutty.
Paul H, Hedon, UK

These best names have all been a bit short so far, surely middle names should be taken into account? How about - Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim.
Andie, London

The 'plebs' of ancient Rome withdrew from political life and the city when fed up with the insufferable patrician class - allowing the 'toffs' of Rome to get on as best they could without them. Perhaps calling someone a 'pleb' makes (some) people feel better, but it may just remind the recipient of this insult of their own political clout. Vivat plebes.
Mark, Reading, UK

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