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She's back. I knew that she'd be out for Christmas. I hope she uses the bus and has a safe and sober New Year.
Steve Morrison, Aberdeen, Scotland

Here's a lovely Christmas ditty for you that I've written:
C is for the carols sung around the tree,
H is for the hideous programmes they'll show on satellite TV,
R is for the revenue you've given to the store,
I is for the indigestion you'll have come half past four,
S is for the tasteful socks that someone's bound to get,
T is for the turkey and that trifle that just won't set,
M is for the mistletoe under which kissing can be fun,
A is for the Christmas tree Angel who's job is not much fun and...
S is for the smashing job that the Magazine does all year round to keep up informed and entertained.
(I know the last line doesn't scan or rhyme, but it's true and that's what's important!) Merry Christmas!
Martin, Hemel Hempstead, UK

Monitor note: Martin, you're spoiling Magazine Monitor.

Re: Paper Monitor. Over in the Times, there's some thoughtful analysis that points out that the average age for onset of *purity* has fallen for girls. Now that's an interesting concept.
Riesling, Black Forest, Germany

In Paper Monitor today. Purity ? Do you mean puberty ?
Rebecca, London

Monitor note: Yes. A fantastic Freudian slip.

To be honest I am not that interested in the £690,000 Charlotte Bronte miniature manuscript unless Kate Bush is planning to sing and dance to a song about it.
David Infense Finch, Adelaide, Australia

John Airey (Thursday's Letters), you'd know it's a mint Club because it's in a mint Club wrapper. What I'd question is how you'd know it was an all-chocolate one without taking a bite. Or was a half-eaten biscuit passed around reverently?
Sharon Cutworth (who once had an all-chocolate fruit Club), King's Lynn

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