Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The financial crisis shows no signs of abating but Paper Monitor is relieved that the British press has its eye on the real meltdown - the alarming goings-on at X Factor.
"Mass Exodus" of the massacre of the innocents that took place at the weekend with four acts dumped from the show in "shockingly brutal scenes".
Two judges were reduced to tears, the paper reported while the Daily Star added that a third - Gary Barlow - was so angry that he "".
Despite the mass cull, the Daily Mail suggested that the show was struggling to hold on to viewers.
"X Factor loses 1m viewers (and 5 weeping wannabes)" announced its headline.
The paper claimed that the dip in viewers happened after "fans were forced to endure advert and promotional trailer breaks that filled more than a fifth of Saturday night's programme".
The other big issue worrying the nation's papers was the quick dip that England rugby player Manu Tuilagi had in Auckland harbour.
The Samoan-born centre jumped from a ferry and swam to a jetty where he was arrested and interviewed by police.
If England had beaten France with an exhibition of flowing rugby, Paper Monitor suspects that the headlines may have been a little different.
"New rugby shame as England star is held for diving off a ferry" was the next to a picture of Tuilagi in Dennis the Menace-style striped shorts.
And finally there was important news for men carrying a bit of spare capacity. The Daily Telegraph reported that attractive women are happy to overlook a man's growing gut if he increases his salary.
According to the stats, if a single man increases his body mass index by 10% he must increase his salary by 2% to keep dating a similar partner.
It creates the obvious dilemma for the man battling middle aged spread - to stay late in the office to win that pay rise, or rush off to the gym to work on those abs.