Your Letters
Has Paper Monitor gone on holiday and been replaced by Comic Monitor today? Please, highlight the richness of the daily press with dry witicism or beguiling charm, not the tawdriness of red top relationship advice with crass cliche. It's not worth the paper it's not written on.
Aghast!, at the Part time PP of paper monitor
Paper Monitor, I really must complain. It is 2.16pm on Thursday 7 October, and there is no sign of you, or your cousin Caption Comp. Some of us only get the chance to surf at lunchtime which does not go on all afternoon. And this is the second day this has happened. Are you in love, or ill? This tardiness will not do. You must address yourself to making improvements and pull your socks up. Naughty PM!
PollySaxon, Lichfield
Paper Monitor writes: Sincerest apologies for the tardiness of today's entry. One could mention how complex things gets when herding little Paper Monitors through life's difficult early years. Of course, there are always reasons but never excuses. On the matter of the "tawdriness of red-top relationship advice", Aghast, is this not a constituent of the riches of the daily press?
Thank you M Ross (Wednesday letters) for echoing my sentiments entirely. I got all excited at the thought of sausage and purple mash and was all prepared to set off to my local Sainsbury's when I realised I lived in the wrong part of the country. I have been denied the chance to sample such wonders of nature. Completely ruined my day. How far will Sainsbury's deliver to?
Kazbat, Merseyside
Helen/Michael (Wednesday letters) - very true, I have been through Manchester, NH, on the way to Chesterfield NH (don't ask). As you can imagine there are numerous places in New England that have the same names as British places, but I don't recall that any of them were referred to as "Manchester, USA".
Dan Wilkinson, Chesterfield, Derbyshire, UK, Europe, Planet Earth, Milky Way....you get the point...
Re 7 questions on British history: despite my history degree, I only received 5/7, but may I point out that all Henry VIII's wives died?
Kirsty Nicol, East Lothian, Scotland
Is the Magazine a marital status reader? 5/7 for 7 questions on British history and it gave me my marital status. I'm spooked.
RD, London
I'm pretty sure that tarantulas are venomous rather than poisonous, otherwise Mr Onac wouldn't be here to tell us of his experience (Thursday's Quote of the Day).
Sarah, Oxford, UK
Monitor, who has never tried the delicacy, stands corrected. Thursday's quote has been amended accordingly.