Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
There is an old routine that starts: "The Times is read by the people who run the country. The Financial Times is read by the people who own the country. The Guardian is read by the people who think they should run the country. The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country..."
The Daily Star isn't always mentioned, but if it was inserted into the routine today it could be: "The Daily Star is read by the people who, if they ran the country, would make textspeak into the national language."
The paper's Text Maniacs section is a fascinating insight. The plurality of entries today are about the noted polymath Katie Price and her marriage to the cage fighter.
But trawl through these and there are glorious insights.
Coloredrainbow texts: "wen ur asleep ur spirit leaves ur body and can walk and do anything, wen u do go to spirit u are in perfect health again."
Right, thanks for that.
Another texter, Mad Max, seems to be inviting other regular contributors to join him in staging a coup. He writes: "Mad Painta, Mad Frank, Mad Mo, Mad Brad, Mad Mc Rainhill. We should meet up & sort this country out."
And perhaps most poignantly, the paper has lost, through a technical error it says, all of the pictures sent in by ordinary punters of them with famous people.
They are reduced to using a picture of an ordinary bloke with Olly Murs at Chicago Rock Cafe in Stevenage.
The glamour.