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Paper Monitor

12:28 UK time, Friday, 28 November 2008

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

As part of its newly launched sub-brand, Paperweight, Paper Monitor has hauled in the kitchen scales for a Ricky "The Hitman" Hatton-Paul "Paulie" Malignaggi-style weigh in.

As is customary in such circumstances, the contenders were required to remove all extraneous attire - namely loose advertising bumpf - before stepping up to the scales.

Here in reverse order - lightest to heaviest - for the first time on free-to-air internet are the results of the inaugural official Paperweight challenge.

Financial "The Pink Puncher" Times
220g (7 and 5/8oz)

The Daily "Hurricane" Express
230g (8oz)

The Daily "Clunking Fist" Mirror
266g (9 and 3/8oz)

The "Scorcher" Sun
282g (9 and 7/8oz)

The Daily "Old Timer" Telegraph
296g (10 and 4/8oz)

The Daily "Hand in Glove" Mail
306g (10 and 6/8oz)

The Indy-Hairshirt-pendent
310g (10 and 7/8oz)

The Come and Have a Go if You Think You're Guardian'uff
344g (12 and 1/8oz)

And the winner is.....

Theeeee Thunderer itself.... the Wapping Whopper.... the Times
388g (13 and 5/8oz)

Although even this august journal of record can't hold a light to Paper Monitor's half-drunk, tepid Americano coffee. EASY, EASY, EASY...

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