Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Sentences you only ever read in British newspapers during Glastonbury:
"In the cabaret tent, a transsexual burlesque artist cut the straps of her bra with samurai swords which she then set on fire." Daily Telegraph
"For £2.50 a go, or £13 for an unlimited-use wristband, you could have an environmentally friendly number-two experience on a proper, sit-down, recycled plastic toilet seat within the environs of a garden shed cleaned and sprinkled with sawdust after every visit." Guardian
"Some cops joined in the fun by wearing sunflowers on top of their police helmets." Sun
"A man lies on the ground. Naked save for a tiny top hat tied to his testicles, he burns in the midday sun." Times
"Mudcoated fans endured sardine-like proximity for the three-day event." Daily Mail
"The Primrose Hill set belted out karaoke like chavs" Daily Mirror