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18:08 UK time, Thursday, 27 March 2008

An interesting new form of one-upmanship: we had an entente cordiale. Then Mr Sarkozy says he wants an . So Mr Brown goes one better with an . Where can Sarko go next - an entente incomparable? An entente amoureuse...?
Tim Barrow, London, UK

So the Prime Minister and was "just doing what he was told". If only the rest of us were as direct as Her Majesty.
SD, London, UK

The bird-feeding thong-man coverage always makes certain to point out it was a "skimpy" thong. Perhaps I'm naive, but I thought thongs were skimpy by definition. Is there such a thing as an especially skimpy one? Has underwear gone mad?
Adam, Belfast, UK

If only the Caption Competition were back... the French President might explain the subjunctive to the Monitor.
Richard, Newport, Wales

It's a good thing that the Caption Competition isn't back, or I would have sent the following: "So you're the new Diana then?"
The Bob, Glasgow

If only the Caption Competition was back (pt3): "Mmm, soft, luscious, full-bodied aroma, definitely from an organically farmed animal."
Keith, Lismore, Ireland

If only...(pt3): "Good jab, cherie. Now a left 'ook wiz ze 'andbag."
John, Sevenoaks

"If only" indeed. A variation on the old song, perhaps? "Hands, elbows, HEELS and toes, HEELS and toes."
Stig, London, UK

Enough of this "If only the Caption Competition was back" followed by amusing captions thinly veiled within the letters page. Why not simply rename it "Snapshot Slogan" (or some other title suggesting an equally negligible level of non-competitiveness) and simply select the best slogans in the same way you currently select the best letters. Or dare I suggest that there is a competitive element in getting one's letters published... oh no, what have I done?
Chris, London

Avon & Somerset Police are currently using . The name of the police officer certainly fits the operation - Supt Ian Wylie.
Fi, Gloucestershire, UK

Is the fact that the Queen "managed to look slightly shorter than Mr Sarkozy" (Paper Monitor) anything to do with the fact that, at 5ft 4in, she is, er, slightly shorter than Mr Sarkozy?
John Whapshott, Westbury, Wiltshire

Polly S, Lichfield (Tuesday Letters): Never forget that Paper Monitor is a London media type. They use Americanisms like apartment for flat all the time - completely unironically. So I don't think you can say Paper Monitor is American just yet.
Ken, Hornchurch, Essex

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