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09:17 UK time, Friday, 14 March 2008

Monitor: Due to Thursday's letters failure, there will be two sets of letters today.

I'm sure the homeowner pictured in here would cook their food quicker if they actually put their saucepans on top of the hobs that were on.
Michael Hall, Croydon, UK

As Adam from Belfast (Wednesday's letters) ought to know, under 1st edition D&D rules, Elf *was* a class. It doesn't take the Eye of Vecna to see that it was an historical allusion.
Alex, Bristol

Adam, Belfast - you're my ideal man.
Rachel, Surrey

Today's quote was the most depressing ever. People who don't leave the bathroom for two years not only have partners, but manage to hang on to them and yet I am single. Thank God this story wasn't released on Valentine's day.
Sara, Malmo, Sweden

RE that says "Mr Darwin, 57, vanished after his canoe was found in the sea close to his home at Seaton Carew, Hartlepool, in 2002." Surely he vanished before the canoe was found?
Matt, Manchester

If the Caption Competition returned, you might get posts such as "Introducing the new All-Weather Mobile Phone". If only...
Phil, Cardiff

RE: "If only the Caption Competition was back" - you really are going to silly lengths to keep your identity hidden aren't you PM. How you make it into work like that is a mystery to me.
Nick Ould, Peterborough, UK

Does the use of the indicative "was" instead of the subjunctive "were" in "If only the Caption Competition was back (pt1)" mean it will indeed be coming back? Finals are looming, and I still only vaguely understand the rules of the subjunctive...
Rosie, Bangor, N Wales

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