91Èȱ¬

100% it is NOT it is just a person who likes to sleep around & the clinics are places where they can take your money off you. When they leave they are not better.

I am SURE all those who say they have this 'illness' if their other half
did what they did, they wouldn't say it was an illness then ..... they
would leave them, for cheating on them!

Many recognised mental illnesses started off by being not recognised by the scientific community. As our understanding of psychology and the brain increases, so does our understanding of mental illness.

If Tiger Woods has inspired people to seek help for what *probably* will turn out to be a genuine mental illness then he has done a lot of good for the world.

Where can I find these clinics? I for one would love to meet some other sex addicts.

I'm afraid that this is a load of sad people looking for an excuse for promiscuous and insecure lifestyles.

Pity they don't moderate their sexual activity and find something more useful to do.

Another invented illness designed to enrich consultants.

people can become addicted to anything: food, money, coffee, work. so why not sex?

but the public are increasingly using 'rehab' and other therapeutic treatments in the same way as celebrities do - to show they have 'dealt' with it. its emulation.

Don't see the problem... sex is healthy exercise as long as there is protection against STDs.

"Is 'sex addiction' an excuse for infidelity? Are you addicted to sex? Have you overcome a sex addiction? Have you been involved with a sex addict?"


Yes, sex is "evil" and "sinful" and a "psychological disorder"...
And because a few people have had a hard time with it...

LETS BAN THIS FILTH!



This nonsense has to stop now, before we all lapse into an irreversible state of stupidity.

Of course not - Its just a very convenient excuse.

Get a grip!

Perhaps the human race should stop and take a good look at itself.We believe we are superior to any other creature on earth and therefore can live with rules which kerb our basic instincts.What is described as "sex addiction" is just a desire to re-produce,despite what is said. Both men and women are driven to create new life regardless.If you are not driven to reproduce in any other animal species you are an outcast.Because of our complex set of rules we prefer(?)to live by sex tends to be swept under the carpet.It is used as a weapon,blackmail,a comment upon morality etc etc;Sex addiction is a nonsense and should be treated as such,its just another "control" placed upon us all.

Anything taken to an obsessive extreme is a possible sign of mental illness. Promiscuity no more and no less than anything else.

Most of us are capable of exerting some control over ourselves: we can stop drinking, leave the computer, go out of the house without checking the taps over and over again... some poor souls cannot, and need help to modify extreme behaviour.

If you sleep around and you're rich and famous - you have a sex addiction.
If you sleep around and you're not rich and famous - you're just a tom-cat.

I was once told by a very eminent psychiatrist "Tell me about an inadequacy in human nature and I'll find you an illness that fits it."

I am disgusted that the response to this debate is a mixture of cynicism or cheap, infantile humour. This is a serious matter and it is a very real addiction, exacerbated by the internet and the accessibility of sexual opportunity. Like any other addiction, alcohol, drugs or gambling for example, it destroys lives and leaves a terrible wake of devastation. Addiction does not 'excuse' anything, but it does become a way of life where treatment becomes essential if the 'sufferer' is to recover.

I wouldn't call it an illness but it's certainly not something that is just attributed to 'promiscuous' people.

I love sex. I love being in a sexual relationship with my missus and at times she has commented on my virility. However, if she's not in the mood it doesn't automatically mean I'm going to head out, hunting for the next available female.

For people to say it's just promiscuous folk who are addicted to sex is just lazy in the extreme.

Either get a life or get a girl/boyfriend.

I'm a male with an addiction to sex. I don't care who where when. Albeit I am always safe.

However. Do i see it as a problem. Not at all. No one is getting hurt and I am being fulfilled.

I know a very "handy" self-help technique to overcome sexual urges without medication or councilling.

Can you guess what it is yet?

I don't think the majority of HYS posters, with no qualifications in mental health or psychology, are really in a position to answer this question.

But that wont stop them from having a go, ofcourse.

Ridiculous. This is as daft as saying that drug addicts are 'ill' and need 'treatment'.

'15. At 11:28am on 05 Apr 2010, DP wrote:

I am disgusted that the response to this debate is a mixture of cynicism or cheap, infantile humour. This is a serious matter and it is a very real addiction, exacerbated by the internet and the accessibility of sexual opportunity. Like any other addiction, alcohol, drugs or gambling for example, it destroys lives and leaves a terrible wake of devastation. Addiction does not 'excuse' anything, but it does become a way of life where treatment becomes essential if the 'sufferer' is to recover.'

Pure psycho babble.

Sex only becomes an addiction when you get caught out by your partner/spouse

Addiction to anything is no laughing matter. I, for one, will be looking into the services offered by these establishments.

All the naysayers on this HYS might want to consider some very basic biology lessons here. Sexual climax triggers an endorphin rush, and endorphins are received by the nervous system in much the same way as morphine. Therefore from a purely logical rational POV, it's entirely plausible that sex can become an addictive behaviour.

"Addiction is addiction" There are many,Who can say?

Think I've had the addiction since I was a young teenager but it hasn't required a clinic to solve. Repeated failure to get satisaction has been a much more effective and cheaper cure of my 'illness'.

More American ME, ME, ME nonsense :(

Simply pathetic!

Yes, it is. Any activity that creates a feeling of happiness and wellbeing; whether that be food, drink, drugs or sex, can become an addiction. Those who say differently have never been in that position and I hope they never are, lest they be judged by their own small minded prejudices.

Seems like another bogus condition that the NHS will be saddled with. Won't be long before "Sex Addiction" qualifies as an incapacity benefit claim. I thought "Sex Addiction" was once know as promiscuity, but along comes the PC brigade to change all that.

No, it's not real. It's a convenient lie that gets bandied about these days to allow celebrities to get off the hook for their indiscretions. Instead of owning up to their failures they check themselves into rehab to be treated for their alleged illness, the implication being that it's not their fault, the illness did it.

The only thing stopping 99% of men from being "sex addicts" is not being as rich and handsome as these celebs (and perhaps some men also have a decent set of morals).

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

Fat people eat lots of food, junkies take drugs, alcoholics drink alcohol and people who like sex have sex. These people are not sick they are doing exactly what they like to do. What these people should be made to do is take out private medical insurance so that there fun does not start costing the rest of us money.

I believe it is. During intercourse endorphins are released (this is the pleasure hormone also associated with eating chocolate). It seems logical to me that just as you can get addicted to drugs you could become addicted to a hormone.

Similarly anonymous sex is associated with danger, anything we consider dangerous normally leads to heightened adrenaline levels and that too could become addictive.

let's be realistic here, we aren't just talking about people who enjoy a lot of sex, we are talking about people becoming dependent on sex for their well being, that to me constitutes a mental illness, if not an addiction.

To quote a Carter, Unstopable Sex Machine song, for me it is "Anytime, anyplace, anywhere".

I am a single male in my thirties. I have an obsession with sex. Never had treatment for it so can't classify it as an addiction but I will go to extraordinary lenghts to fulfil my desires.

I have flown to other countries for the weekend, sold my car to fund the lifestyle and will have sex with any female as long as it it legal.

I will even sleep with ladies whom I do not fond remotely attractive. I am honest with it, tell them it is just casual and I always double up with protection.

I am not hurting nyone elese but I am hurting myself. I live a lie. Covering my tracks to family, friends and work. For a long while, 5 years or so, I was very happy with this lifestyle but over the past couple of years, the lenghts I will go to have become more and more extreme.

I think I need help. I think I want help. I do not know where to start though.

# 22 atheistrule
"Sex only becomes an addiction when you get caught out by your partner/spouse"

Right on the ball, sir!

I don't know if sex addiction is an illness. That's for doctors and psychiatrists to establish rather than unqualified participants in a 91Èȱ¬ HYS.

I'm sure sex addiction is an excuse for infidelity, but whether it's a *good* excuse or not depends upon whether it is actually an illness and whether the person in question is actually suffering from it.

18. At 11:37am on 05 Apr 2010, Some other person with a comment wrote:
I know a very "handy" self-help technique to overcome sexual urges without medication or councilling.

Can you guess what it is yet?
---
and it works, too! Where's the boxing gloves?

Sex addiction does sound like a pleasurable indulgence.

Healthy young individuals have the need to express their sexual desire but it does seem to me that super-stardom can turn even the most level headed person into a sex addict. I wonder how many milk-men and grocer's assistants are booked into sex addiction clinics compared to 'famous' men who have been caught out with a string of affairs under his belt.
I also wonder how many divorces cases will cite this new 'disease' instead of infidelity. Could be the best get out ever invented for those who believe their own publicity and consider themselves to be god's gift in the bedroom.

Yes sex addiction is a real condition. It's easy to form a certain frame of mind for it. It's just hard to talk about. Parents find it hard to talk to kids about it, and heck it can come from parents' views expressed during difficult times such as puberty, and there are no counsellors ever available for it unless you have money which no one does. Talking to peers about it is the best they can do, but it's hard to do because it's so confidential that it's usually approached in a sarcastic or frivolous way.

"Addiction clinics in the UK" I sure hope these are not funded by the NHS.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

No. It's solely down to prolonged indoctrination, by, an irresponsible media, and a load of equally noxious propaganda by world religions.

Sex is an appetite so therefore it must be possible to become addicted if there is both the opportunity and lack of self-control. However, sex is not some kind of pernicious drug and people who claim to be suffering from sex addiction must accept that they have lost control of their emotions by their own selfish physical actions. Lust is the result of allowing one's mind to become so fixated with sex that the concept of pure love is eradicated along with all other notions of purity.

Well I suppose you can't blame them from trying. They are just promiscuous and are looking for an excuse that it's an 'illness'. Waste of everyone's time and money. I smoke cigarettes: can I be declared ill too please.

What a load of rubbish - everything today is supposed to be ' an addiction' which then has to have therapy provided - please tell me what constitutes therapy for sex addiction ??..its just amazing how simple minded people can be. Anyone who is sex addicted is so through their own actions, taken in the full knowledge of what they are doing. There is no one else to blame - just themselves..but today we live in a culture of no blame and people believe (conveniently) that its not their fault. Get Real - get a life - get a brain..

I have noticed something about sex addiction that has been missed.
Those suffering from it, seem to be rich haveing marriage problems and court with there trousers down or skirts up.
Also how mush effort is made reguarding teenage Mums and there sex addiction that the Right wing is always banging on about( no pun intended, surly this is where the biggest problem lies if there is one.
Or is it because they can't pay for there treatment.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

Perhaps it's all to do with self-worth, just that feeling of being wanted and loved.

That's what shoes do for me!

"Psychiatric illness" and "addiction" are used nowadays to justify any type of purely irresponsible behaviour.

Bonhillbear, please tell me more about your fruit and bakery situation.

I once had a dream about a warm watermelon with a hole cut our the middle.

Does anyone have any suggestions where I can seek medical advice/help? I am genuinley worried that I am not in control any more.

I have a "date" lined up in Hamburg this Saturday. Flights, hotel and other costs approaching £800 and I simply cannot afford it. Racking up credit card bills at an alarming rate.

Feel to embarrassed to talk about it.

Living with a sex addict is not all it is cracked up to be. There is a constant threat of being "called to action" or being embarrassed when your friends are over for dinner or a few drinks. Birthday parties and Xmas are the worst times by far. That's why I prefer to keep the girlfriend at arm's length and continue to live with the wife. I think that's fairest for all parties.

I don't have the necessary training to know whether "sex addiction" is a clinical condition or not, but I do know that the media has an obsession with sex which could definitely benefit from treatment.

>Is sex addiction a real illness?

Sure, anything that gives you such a thrill (especially if it was taken up in order to dull emotional / existential pain) but ends up as something that controls 'you' rather than you being in control of 'it', is addiction. If you don't hold the reigns, then you are pulled every which way by it and feelings of being discomfort and restlessness will arise when it isn't available,until such times as you get your next fix which will temporarily dim those feelings until they arise again and the wheel turns all over again. It's a viscious circle, and I don't see why addiction to sex is any different from addiction to many other stimulants being used to dim emotional and existential pain in someone's life.

No. It's simply case of total irresponsibility and an unwillingness to be held accountable for one's actions. Better to say you are suffering from an illness than admit being pathetic.

If you can afford to go to expensive celebrity rehab, it's called "sex addiction"; if you can't afford to, it's called "being a creepy guy".

29. At 11:44am on 05 Apr 2010, cemhlm wrote:
""Seems like another bogus condition that the NHS will be saddled with. Won't be long before "Sex Addiction" qualifies as an incapacity benefit claim. I thought "Sex Addiction" was once know as promiscuity, but along comes the PC brigade to change all that.""

It is isn't it 54% of Teenage Mums in deprived area's get pregnant,
statics's found care of the Conservative Party. Sorry just found out the decimal point is in the wrong place.

I reckon there is a possibility that some people can be addicted to sex and the high that comes with each 'fix', but this is being used as a convenient excuse by anyone caught cheating these days. It's all part of the blame culture and the increasing numbers refusing to take responibility for their actions and blaming someone/something else. Yet another sad reflection on modern society.

It's as real an "illness" as web addiction, alcohol addiction, game addiction...put simply, humans can get addicted to ANYTHING. Facebook addiction is probably going to be an illness too. Some people can't be away from that thing.

Weak willed people with no self-esteem can get addicted to anything - but as long as they pay for the clinic themselves rather than being taxpayer funded that's ok with me.

Well, like most mental conditions, it's real enough to genuine subjects (as opposed to the - many - people who use it as an excuse for getting more than they otherwise would!) However, I would think that were there is some real malady, it's usually a symptom of something much more mundane, such as self-loathing, unhappy home life, childhood hang-ups or whatever.

Alan T

It's a sad reflection of our liberal, morally-bankrupt, decadent society.

If you can be a food addict, drug addict, alchol addict etc, you surely can be a sex addict as well.

"Is sex-addiction a real illness"? Tiger Woods has been mentioned in this report? As I recall - the famous actor, Michael Douglas - was also reported as being treated for 'sex-addiction' at least a decade ago?

Have yet to see reports of female celebrities being treated for sex-addiction? One might suppose that women still experience prejudice regarding sexual activity in 21st century?

Experiencing climax, for a woman, is more complicated in love-making, especially with trust, intimacy and how their partner treats them outside of the 'bedroom' too?

A previous poster mentioned the endorphins released during climax - absolutely right - and the human brain in men and women are 'wired' differently to achieve this 'rush' which gives great physical benefit to both genders.

If a woman has a loving partner - who forgets their own ego, then that partner will experience an intimacy and return of love that they should never take for granted?

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

I would, in all seriousness, recommend South Park's episode 'Sexual Healing' as the most thorough exploration of this question in all its stupidity.
As most people have already pointed out, this idea of 'sex addiction' is merely a PR-friendly excuse for the alpha-male mentality - the desire to have many sexual partners is not unnatural.
Monogamy is instinctually repressive, after all! It is not hard to understand people who have many sexual partners, this notion of it as an 'illness' is ridiculous beyond belief.
I myself am monogamous, and have no trouble in remaining so - but I would be lying if I said I never had any sexual thoughts about other people. Same goes for 100% of the sexually active population, I imagine!

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

I think with something like this it's important to listen to the medical proffesionals, and take it from there. What I don't want to see is religious organisations & other assorted riff-raff getting involved.

55. At 12:11pm on 05 Apr 2010, John Stratford wrote:
No. It's simply case of total irresponsibility and an unwillingness to be held accountable for one's actions. Better to say you are suffering from an illness than admit being pathetic.


====================================

So you think I am pathetic? Wothout knowing anything about me?

This saddens me greatly. Perhaps because I feel pathetic but unable to do anything about it.

Just back from Morrisons, had to get some bagels for lunch.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

What a load of garbage, this is another non illness designed to fleece the gullible.

This is rubbish, invented to excuse the poor quality behaviour and lack of self control of some so called pseudo-celebrities.

I cannot see how it could be classified as an "illness", as the effects cannot be harmful such as an addiction to alcohol, drugs or gambling.

Oh and tell NuLabor about this, as they will undoubtedly squander more £billions they don't have!

Almost any behaviour can become compulsive in some people; this is no more or less an illness than other forms of compulsive behaviour. To deny that compulsive behaviour is damaging and worthy of treatment is patently ridiculous.

All normal people are interested in sex. Those who are not are the ones who are ill.

And those married to non-interested partners are the ones who suffer most.

Treat the non-interested ones first.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

37. At 11:51am on 05 Apr 2010, Dr Malcolm Williams wrote:
18. At 11:37am on 05 Apr 2010, Some other person with a comment wrote:
I know a very "handy" self-help technique to overcome sexual urges without medication or councilling.

Can you guess what it is yet?
---
and it works, too! Where's the boxing gloves?""

I always thought Corn Flakes where Invented as a cure for Masturbation.

"" A follower of Sylvester Graham, the inventor of graham crackers and graham bread and supporter of sexual abstinence, Kellogg believed that spicy or sweet foods would increase passions. In contrast, cornflakes would have an an-aphrodisiac property and lower the sex drive.""

No - it's not an 'illness'; though it can lead to some bad ones if you aren't careful.
Also, 'sex addiction'? It's promiscuity - or is that too hard a word for celebrities to pronounce (or be aware of)?
Finally, there is NO WAY that 'treatment' for this 'illness' should be allowed on the NHS.

It is. Especially these Easter days when I am home alone, sometimes I think that being addicted to painkillers or alcohol or other drugs would be less terrible than this. I am quite grateful for HYS for having picked up this topic as it really does help me and I presume my fellow sufferers to talk about this.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

What a scam. This says something about the medical profession and the desire to rip off gullible people. A good cure for Tiger Woods' problem would be to try and earn a living and support a family on the average wage of a UK unskilled worker. Throughout history the idle rich (and this includes those who play golf games for money - that ain't work!!!) have had time and leisure to devote to their excessive sexual needs. My heart bleeds for them. So Tiger, get a job.

These two contradicts each other:- "sex addiction is not technically recognised as a medical illness", "sexual behaviour therapy".

recommend post#16 @11:30am on 5 April.

Furthermore, finding a 'life partner' with physical and sexual attraction, plus intimacy and loyalty to each other is a gift and should be nurtured.

However, 'infidelity-addiction' is constantly pushed by 'celebrity media' and insidiously eroding and brainwashing you, me and our children?

'Celebrity infidelity' is all about money-making exposure for them, and poison for the rest of us?

Addiction comes in all shapes & sizes, so I wouldn't be surprised if there are sex addicts out there. But let's not allow serial sh*99ers to use it as an excuse for their promiscuity.

We live in an age of 'not my fault' - this is just another page in an already over-thumbed book - never take personal responsibility, it's always an illness, a syndrome, or the way you were brought up / educated / indoctrinated/ anything else that you can throw in to deflect the question (and the answer that might be difficult to face).

There is no such thing as sex addiction.

These so-called "clinics" are nothing more than predatory snake-oil sellers capitalising on people's artificially induced guilt overlaid on their natural behaviour.

If you trace the origins of these "clinics" you will see connections with CoS and other similar cults which prey on people in similar fashion.

Sex addict or serial cheater ?,
it seems to me you only find you suffer from sex addiction once your wife finds out!!
Another excuse for an illness to cover up bad behavior.

Just like disruptive Children suffering attention deficiency disorder,
Solutions keep it in your trousers , and a clip round the ear ,
There problem solved .
Who needs therapists

I think it should be treated seriously as an addiction. Many people regard drink and drugs as addictions. However, I think other things can be addictive too, such as shopping, gambling and sex. All these can cause a major release of several chemicals in the brain that are as rewarding as something you can acquire from drink or a drug. They can also cost a lot of money. Shopping - use of credit cards. Gambling - the belief that one more bet will claw back previous losses. Sex - money spent on pornography, even prostitutes. I believe the internet is the most addictive technology ever invented. Combine it with sex and I can appreciate how some people can become hooked. Some people can quickly gain control, as they could with drink or drugs. However, others may benefit from talking treatments, even medication. It needs to be studied further and taken seriously.

Personally,in the past I have spent a lot of money on this addiction. I have also spent long hours on the internet, sometimes at the neglect of things I should have been doing. I regained control by myself. However, perhaps I might have wasted less time and money if I had sought treatment.

19. At 11:37am on 05 Apr 2010, Jack wrote:
I don't think the majority of HYS posters, with no qualifications in mental health or psychology, are really in a position to answer this question.

But that wont stop them from having a go, ofcourse.


Well, that's the whole point of this forum, isn't it - It's a bit unrealistic to expect hordes of specialised doctors to queue up and have their say on these pages. Readers are asked about an opinion, not about a diagnosis based upon which the medical world will then treat sex addiction, is it? I for one find the flood of predictable, unexpected and scurrilous comments very interesting and entertaining. If I want a qualified opinion, I am sure there is a forum few yards down the road that caters for that.

When something rules your life,it is known as an addiction.

Does this mean that addiction to anything constitutes a mental illness?? Obsessive compulsive disorder, of any type or magnitude?

Is 'sex addiction' an excuse for infidelity ?

Just ask most MP's - when they are not fiddling expenses they appear they cant help themselves.

I guess I'm no more qualified to make a comment on here than most others but it seems to me that the classification of 'addictions' enables people to absolve themselves of the need for self control.

It's not that people are promiscuous and should control their behaviour - they are sex addicts. People aren't fat because they overeat - they are food addicts.

There seems to be an excuse for everything these days, which coincides with a seeming lack of self control. Give people another crutch to take away their responsibility for their actions and they WILL use it.

At a jaw dropping £40 PER SESSION the cynic in me says that the only addiction here is the one to separate a fool from his money. I think I'll jump on the 'therapist' bandwagon and start up an Addicted to Addictions clinic. There's no shortage of punters it would seem. Roll up, roll up ......

I think it is definetely real, and moreso for masturbation than sex. I have a friend who masturbates at least 4 times a day, and has been doing so for the last 10 years. It has become a daily routine for him and he becomes irritable and prone to mood swings if he goes without. He doesn't have a girlffriend and I think this may be a factor. I think it has also affected him physically as he has low energy levels all the time.

This is one of the most fiercely debated areas of psychology in the 1990s. Please read some literature of Sigmund Freud, who is considered as "father of psychology".

#89

I was merely trying to suggest that it's odd how people here have declared it rubbish without knowing what they're talking about. I agree, it's very entertaining =)

Addictions take many forms and yes,I think sex addiction is a very real problem for some. For others no doubt it can be a lot of fun,like spending your life in bars and clubs,but as a be all and end all for a lifestyle it seems pretty shallow and empty in the final analysis. I could understand how it could ruin relationships and family life and perhaps that is when people need to resort to treatment.

Oh yes I'm a sex addict. My wife will believe any rubbish about losing weight, or that this dress make her look better, I am sure she will buy into this one.

Really if your stupid enough to believe such a thing.

Many men sleep around as do some women. Why, because its fun and exciting and its available. Life is too short to waste it with one person. We dont love these women, its just fun.

Sorry if you feel threaten, maybe if you were fun and exciting we wouldnt wander.

Bring on the male chauvistic rubbish.

Yes, there are 'infidelity addicts'. The 'rush' is the danger while deeply loving their partner and/or children?

Sex addiction or infidelity addiction - are not far apart? It's more to do with the addiction of the adrenaline 'rush' of danger too?

Do we still imagine we are better than animals? In an obtuse way, human structures of religion, society and 'civilisation' is 'faulty'? All humans of all races and cultures struggle with this? Anthropology and dogmatic religion is the 'curse' that humans are left to struggle with. As a complicated species, humans have always been a danger to each other and the planet? Sorry, ran off-topic?