91Èȱ¬

"Scott McGleish McGleish,
"He should be kept on a leash, a leash
"He may be 35,
"It's a wonder he's still alive!"
Leyton Orient fans have some advice for their ageing striker.

McGleish has had a hard life
"Your head's too big for you!"
Barnsley mascot Toby Tyke gets a ribbing from the Ipswich fans.

"Tun-cay, cay - Huth, Huth, Abdoulaye!"
Stoke supporters, to the tune of Too Shy by Kajagoogoo.

"Who did you support before?"
Leeds fans question the football fidelity of the MK Dons support.

"Love, love will tear you apart again!"
Stenhousemuir supporters to midfielder Robert Love, to the tune of Joy Division's Love Will Tear Us Apart.

"We've only got one Song."
Arsenal fans to Alex Song.

"We've only got one Tong!"
FC United fans to centre-half Adam Tong.

"You should have gone to U2!"
Arsenal chant to Celtic during Champions League game. (U2 were playing at Hampden that night).

"King Kanu, Kanu,
"He's older than me and you,
"His real age is 62,
"King Kanu, Kanu."
Portsmouth contingent on their evergreen striker.

"Same old Terry, always cheating."
Blackburn fans after a foul by Chelsea captain John Terry.

"We love Taboubi, We love Taboubi, We love Taboubi on a Saturday night."
After Hedi Taboubi scored for Wrexham, to the tune of T Rex's We Love To Boogie.

"I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, Aqui, Aqui Aquilani."
Praise from Liverpool fans for Alberto Aquilani (to the tune of Lady GaGa's 'Paparazzi').

"Fergie, Fergie, sign him up!"
Manchester United fans after David Beckham came on during the Champions League tie with AC Milan.
Beckham - never one for a publicity stunt
Fergie, Fergie, sign him up!"
Manchester City fans to United rivals after Carlos Tevez scored twice in the League Cup semi-final.

"We're forever reaching finals, reaching finals in Hamburg.
"We'll be on the beer while they'll be stuck here
"Watching EastEnders with their old dear
"We'll be on the Reeperbahn, they'll still be in Dagenham
"We're forever reaching finals, reaching finals in Hamburg!"
Fulham fans respond to West Ham's 'Bubbles' chant.

"Does your mummy know you're here?"
England supporters voice concern for their Egyptian counterparts at Wembley.

"Boom boom boom, let me hear you say Bale, Ba-le!"
Spurs salute to Gareth Bale, to the tune of the Outhere Brothers' song.

"Where were you in Istanbul?"
Liverpool fans give Michael Owen a warm welcome on his return to Anfield.

"I've got a park, that's better than this,
"I've got a park that's better than this,
"Its got a swing, a tramp and dog mess,
"I've got a park that's better than this!"
Havant and Waterlooville fans take the mickey out of local rivals Eastleigh's stadium, to the tune of When The Saints Go Marching In.

"Jose Fonte, baby
"Jose Fonte, wo-oh-oh-oh!"
Southampton supporters serenade their defender to the tune of the Human League's Don't You Want Me.

"U-N-I-T-E-D
"That spells (flipping) debt to me,
"With a knick knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone,
"Ocean Finance on the phone."
Man City put the boot into United.

"This is what it's like to be City,
"This is what it's like to be small.
"This is what it's like to be a team that wins nothing at all."
Man Utd fans give some back at Fulham while 3-0 down - to the tune of Inspiral Carpets' This Is How It Feels.

"We are top of the league!"
After Hull took the lead at Stamford Bridge. (The dream lasted less than 10 minutes before Chelsea equalised.)

"He plays on the left, he plays centre mi-i-d, Charlie Adam could play for Madrid!"
Blackpool fans salute their hero at the Scunthorpe game.
Bet they wouldn't tell him to his face
"You fat Bastareaud!"
France's Mathieu Bastareaud gets a warm welcome at the Millennium Stadium in the Six Nations.

"When the City are playing frightful,
"We've got our Dutchman so delightful,
"And even though he's just on loan,
"Evander Sno, Evander Sno, Evander Sno!"
Bristol City supporters to the tune of Let It Snow - about the on-loan Ajax midfield maestro.

"The Unibond, it has no nails,
"The Unibond it has no nails,
"And its anti-mould bath sealant
"Is very good, it never fails."
From the Stand Band at Marine FC of the Unibond Premier League. To the tune of When The Saints Go Marching in.

"We've got Morten Gamst Pedersen; Gamst Pedersen is what we need!"
A soft rock tribute to the Blackburn midfielder, to the tune of Bon Jovi's Bad Medicine.

"We can't see you sneaking out!"
Colchester United fans to their Southampton counterparts when thick fog descended.

"Oh Big Brede (Hangeland), Whoah big Brede (Hangeland), He jumps so high (Hangeland), You know that's no lie (Hangeland), He's so rock steady (Hangeland), When you see him on telly (Hangeland), Oh Big Brede (Hangeland), Whoah big Brede (Hangelaaaaaand)."
Fulham's tribute to giant Norwegian Brede Hangeland - to the tune of Ram Jam's Black Betty.

"Easter's better than Christmas!"
MK Dons fans after Jermaine Easter scored against Stockport on Boxing Day.

"I am a Fleetwood fan,
"And I come from Fleetwood Town,
"I know what I want and I know how to get it,
"I wanna destroy Telford FC,
"Cause, I wanna be Cod Army."
Fleetwood Town fans, to the tune of Anarchy in the UK.

"What's that coming over the hill, is it the taxman, is it the taxman?!"
Swansea fans to Cardiff.

"We like Eboue-boue,
"We like Eboue-boue,
"We like Eboue-boue,
"We like E...BOUE!"
Arsenal salute Emmanuel Eboue to the tune of Reel 2 Real's I Like To Move It.

"Hands up, baby hands up, show me your six fingers, show me your six fingers!"
To the tune of Ottowan's 'Hands Up', sung by Blackburn fans to Burnley.
You only sing when you're ringing

"You're not ringing anymore!"
Heard at Arsenal-Portsmouth after Arsenal's third and fourth goals (a dig at 'Mr Portsmouth' and his ever-present hand-bell.)

"No Woodman - No cry."
At Wycombe v Brighton, when Wycombe took a second-half lead, despite Craig Woodman's first-half dismissal.

"He's young, he's flash, he fills the air with ash. Sigurdsson, Sigurdsson!"
Reading's tribute to their Icelandic midfielder.

"There's only one Gordon Ramsay."
Oldham fans to Delia Smith and the Norwich fans.

Celtic fans: "Shall we sing a song for you?"
Arsenal fans: "Shall we score a goal for you?"
Heard at the Emirates during the Champions League game.

"Thursday nights, Channel 5!"
Manchester United fans in reference to Liverpool having to play in the Europa League.

"You're not scary any more!"
Yeovil fans to Millwall.

"Alive, alive-o-oh, Alive, alive-o-oh,
"Stephen Ireland's two grannies.
"Alive, alive-o!"
Sung at France v Ireland in Paris, to the tune of Molly Malone.
Ireland pretended first one granny, then the other was dead to excuse himself for playing for the Republic in 2007 - Ed.

"We hate England more than you!"
Scottish fans to their Welsh counterparts during the friendly in Cardiff.

"You'll get the sack in the morning!"
West Brom fans as QPR's fifth manager of the season, Neil Warnock, was introduced to the Loftus Road faithful shortly before kick-off in his first match.

"His name is Rio, and he should be in the stands!"
Section of England support in Ukraine, after Rio Ferdinand made a mistake.
Any excuse to use a picture of the dynamic duo
"Super Luka, nuts are we - we're all Luka loopy!"
Spurs supporters salute Luka Modric, to the tune of Chas 'n' Dave's Snooker Loopy.

"You only sing karaoke!"
Scotland fans to Japan supporters in Yokohama.

"Benny is a dancer, skipping past defenders, Benayoun is everywhere!"
Liverpool fans against Benfica, to the tune of Snap's Rhythm Is A Dancer.

"There's only one Michael Jackson, one Michael Jackson.
"There used to be two, but now there's just you, walking in a Jackson wonderland."
In honour of the Marine FC midfielder.

"You're just a fat Robbie Savage!"
Arsenal fans singing to Andriy Voronin of Liverpool in the Carling Cup.

"The referee's a Womble!"
Chant at Berwick Rangers match.

"You're supposed to be a gnome!"
At the Port Vale-Lincoln match, to a rather small referee!

"There's only one Alan Rickman!"
Wigan fans to Man Utd's Dimitar Berbatov, who they believe resembles Rickman's Harry Potter character, Professor Snape.

"Go compare!"
West Ham fans to Rafa Benitez.

"Broady, Broady, the dude looks like a lady."
Sung by the Aussie fanatics at the Ashes - to the Aerosmith tune of 'Dude Looks Like A Lady'.
Scharner and his dodgy barnet
"Your Mum is a badger!"
Spurs supporters to Wigan's Paul Scharner, with reference to his half-blond, half-black hair.

"Tango, Tango, what's the score?"
Arsenal fans to Hull City boss Phil Brown at The Emirates.

"Saw your mum on Jeremy Kyle..."
West Brom fans to a rowdy Reading fan.

"It's just like watching The Bill!"
Worthing supporters during their 2-1 win against Metropolitan Police.

"Tina, Tina, give us a wave!"
Wolves fans take the mickey out of David James' 'Tina Turner' afro at Portsmouth.

"You look like a Wotsit!"
Southampton fans to MK Dons' flame-haired captain, Dean Lewington.

"Strawberry blond, you're having a laugh!"
QPR fans to their former loanee Ben Watson, who shares Lewington's auburn locks.

"We are invisible!"
Barnet fans at a foggy Christie Park, during the 2-1 defeat to Morecambe.
Decisions, decisions
"I'd rather be an egg than a sausage!"
Chant at Woking FC.

"Sittingbourne, shish kebab, Sittingbourne, shish kebab!"
Folkestone Invicta fans at the Chatham Town game on Easter Monday.

"We're blue and white,
"We're having pie for tea tonight,
"Super Steak, Super Steak!"
Sung by St Johnstone supporters after losing 2-1 to Rangers.

"Calderon, Calderon
"Calderon, Calderon,
"Drinking pints of sherry
"Calderon, Calderon."
Brighton fans (to the tune of Let It Be) serenading Spanish right-back Inigo Calderon, after he scored his first goal in English football.

STADIUM ANNOUNCEMENTS

"Would the owner of the BMW estate, registration XXXXXXX, please return to your car as it has started by itself."
Stadium announcer at Northampton v Wasps.

"Don't be fooled by the sunshine, it'll be snowing in 20 minutes."
PA announcer at Oldham welcoming Hartlepool fans to Boundary Park.

"And tonight's match referee is...oh dear God....Davy Malcolm."
From the Ballymena v Glenavon Irish Cup replay.

"The fourth official has indicated two minutes added time to the first half. In association with Specsavers."
Stadium announcer at Hillsborough during Sheffield Wednesday v Forest, after what he thought was a poor refereeing display.

"It's now QPR 0 Ipswich 2, there'll be a new manager in the morning, then!"
Watford announcer reading out the scores at half-time.

"If you are parked in the Buttermarket car park....it closes at five....oh and by the way my mother-in-law is cooking jacket potato and cold meat tonight."
Ipswich announcer at QPR game.
And the score is, er...
"The referee will make a decision after half-time whether to play the rest of the game due to fog. By the way, the score is 0-0."
At half-time during the Lewes v St Albans match, where you couldn't see from one side of the pitch to the the half-way line. The match was called off.

"Cockneys for a day."
Seen among Liverpool fans at Chelsea game.

"Love Glazer, Hate United."
City fans at the Manchester derby.

"Glazers Out! We want our scarves back!"
Banner seen in the Norwich end at Tranmere, along with many yellow and green scarves.

"At least Barnes could rap."
Banner at Rangers v Celtic match, regarding Tony Mowbray's poor record at Celtic.

"He's Not The Messiah. He's A Very Naughty Boy."
Burnley fans at Bolton, directed to their former manager Owen Coyle.

"We had Sol but he's not a soldier."
Banner seen at Notts County after the departure of Campbell. (Based on The Killers' 'I got soul but I'm not a soldier' lyrics).

"Steve, sorry we missed the wedding. We'll make it to the next one!"
Seen at the All Blacks-Australia Test in Wellington.

As most people know, Quotes/Chants of the Week will not be reappearing next season, but I will be tweeting any gems I hear, if you want to see more.