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It's not clear whether broadcasters will be required to use the full name every time they cross to the stadium for goal updates - but if it's a five-goal thriller against Peterborough on Saturday, might be left twiddling his thumbs for a while.
Artist's impression of proposed new Spurs stadium
are the latest club to be linked with a - Bridge Over Roubled Waters perhaps? - while an artist's impressions of suggests it will be known as the Naming Rights Stadium. That takes me back to my schooldays when a mate fronted a rock band called Plus Support - causing much teenage hilarity at the time. You had to be there.

Staying with the theme, my colleague suggested the Emirates could be renamed the Specsavers Stadium in honour of Arsene Wenger's selective eyesight, while given my lot's recent poor showing at home, Loftus Road might become known as Choker Park before the season's out.

But enough of all that, let's get back to Kai Wayne Rooney - oras he'll doubtless be known.

The Sun predictably splashed on the event with a classic headline - "He's small, he's round, he weighs about 8lbs" - and even the broadsheets were getting involved. asking what the name meant (anything from ocean to gravy since you ask), while the Telegraph strangely asked:

I did a little digging of my own and discovered the little fella shares his birthday with Marie Antoinette and, er, Southampton legend Jason Dodd, while he already has an army followers on 'his' - including this latest gem: "Very excited about friends at Playgroup - Reina's son Nobe and Kuyt's son Boyce - but Mark Hughes' daughter will be there too - Luxury-Tish.."

The most startling revelation came when I rather pointlessly decided to see which artists were at number one on the boy's birth date over the years.

After trawling my way through the likes of Barbie Girl and Every Loser Wins, I was on the brink of throwing in the towel when there it was staring back at me. The 1963 chart-topper on 2 November was none other than . At last something to bring a smile to the face of after a week to forget.

One song that won't be topping the hit parade next summer is England's official World Cup anthem, after Fabio Capello reportedly pulled the plug.

(so it must be true): "Fabio does not want anything that could possibly detract from the preparations - even in the slightest of ways.

"There were a lot of big names wanting to record a song - very big names." What, like the

Much as we'd all love to hear JT attempting the John Barnes role in a reworking of World In Motion, it's probably no bad thing - you can guarantee Three Lions will be re-released for the 235th time anyway (although 44 years of hurt doesn't scan quite so well).

One player hoping to be on the plane to South Africa is Theo Walcott, who has been a frustrated spectator as Arsenal carve up all and sundry. The injured 20-year-old was back in the news this week following a story that he'd for her 21st.

The enduring image of the last World Cup was of the pair walking around filming everything on their camcorder like a pair of excited teenagers (which in fact they were). Since then Walcott has been slowly changing from the boy next door to the boy-next-door-as-long-as-you-live-in-a-multi-million-pound mansion-somewhere-in-the-leafy-suburbs. And fair play to him.

If I'd been rolling in it at that age I'd probably have adopted the George Best mantra: "I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered." Although if I won the Lottery tomorrow it would be more like: "I bought a three-bedroom semi and a Mk I Capri. The rest she just squandered."

Walcott witnessed the , which prompted one Gooner to bring news of a special gift for Tottenham fans: To put it into context, the last time Spurs got one over their rivals in the league came in 1999 when boy band Five were enjoying their first number one and Bradford and Coventry were in the top flight.

Staying with Tottenham and there was an last weekend entitled 'Confessions of a Cabin Crew', featuring a host of mid-air revelations.

One flight attendant recalled: "We often get football teams flying to European games... without doubt the rudest was Spurs. None of them said thank you for anything. One player in particular, a striker, sat with his headphones on and refused to take them off, and none of them would lift their window blinds for take-off and landing.

"By contrast, Manchester United were incredibly polite. Sir Alex Ferguson was all 'yes please, no thank you', and all the team were exactly the same. They were all linked up together playing Fifa football....like a bunch of little schoolboys. The only one who wasn't playing was Ronaldo, who just rolled his eyes at me whenever I walked down the plane, as if to say, 'Look what I have to put up with, with these kids'."
David Beckham and his interesting face fuzz
In other news, for Christmas which he plans to name Pinky and Perky. Although they might not be quite so perky when they catch sight of the .

Becks agreed a deal this week to in January and there was a juicy story on Halloween about former manager .

The Chelsea boss's dad used to farm the giant vegetable and Ancelotti is still a member of the Reggiolo Pumpkin Growers' Association. Local bar owner Maddy revealed that as a boy Ancelotti used to eat so many pumpkins "I'm surprised he didn't turn orange". So that'ssecret.

Elsewhere, Cardiff were told not stay in Swansea ahead of Saturday's South Wales derby to wake them up. And of course a Cardiff sympathiser would never have done the same thing to ahead of the 2003 play-off final, would he? Not that I'm bitter, you understand.

And finally, story of the week came courtesy of the Football League Show and one of the emails sent in to Lizzie Greenwood-Hughes. It came from two Rotherham fans called Dave and Dan who had made the long trip down to Aldershot for the League Two clash - only to discover upon their arrival that the game was actually being played in Rotherham.

Have a good weekend, football fans. And here's to Sheffield Wednesday, the team of fellow-bloggers Michael Gray and Tom Fordyce, not to mention my other half's Uncle Ronnie, winning all their home games this season apart from the one on Saturday.