We all know that school is about learning things like algebra, grammar rules, and physics concepts. But have you ever stopped to think about another crucial aspect of school life? Yep, you guessed it – friendships!
Watch this short video featuring content creator Lee Hinchcliffe and teacher Chloe. They're here to answer some questions you might have about friendships, including 'how do I make friends?' and 'do people tend to stay with the same group of friends throughout school?'. After that, scroll down for some extra tips about how you can make, keep and even move on from some friends at secondary school.
Chloe: So Lee, how did you navigate friendships at school?
Lee: I didn't really like school that much, so having a good group of friends around me was really important. What tips do you have to help make friends?
Chloe: I’d always say a good one is to try an extracurricular activity.
Lee: Definitely a good idea. I joined the football team, so I had a big group of people around me and I also just tried chatting to a lot of different people because you never know what you might have in common with them.
Chloe: You never know. And if you’re not into sport, there’s so many other clubs that you can try, and I always say be approachable, smile and ask them questions about themselves.
Lee: That's a really good icebreaker.
Chloe: But if you are still struggling with any of these things in making friends, you can always speak to your form tutor or your head of year to try and get some help and advice.
Lee: So we've got a question in from Holly in Year 8.
Holly: Do people tend to stay with the same group of friends throughout school?
Chloe: Ah, good question. And actually, no, it's quite natural to change friends.
Lee: And that happened to me as well. Me and my best mate, we sort of split off into different friendship groups, but luckily I still had people around me that I could speak to in general.
Chloe: Yes, that's really good. It's always good to have a mix of friends, and I always say don't just hang on to one personor one friendship group, it's okay if they want to go and hang out with other people. As can you - it’s totally fine.
Lee: Our final question is from Elsie in Year 8, who says, if my friends are in an argument and I don't want to pick sides, what should I do about it?
Chloe: Oh, it's always good to try and stay out of it. Now you can listen to both sides of the argument, but try not to get drawninto any mean behaviour.
Lee: Yeah, me personally, I would just stay away from it.
Chloe: Yes, and always talk to a trusted adult if you start to feel upset or uncomfortable with someone's behaviour. School is so great for socialising and meeting people. I say just enjoy it and try not to worry too much if things change, but make sure you don't struggle with this on your own. If you do find you’re getting upset, do speak to a trusted adult for support.
How can I make friends in secondary school?
Social life at school can be difficult at the best of times, but even more so if you're struggling to make friends in the first place. Here are some additional tips that you can use to help take those first steps towards forming friendships.
Expand your school squad
When you head out to break or lunch, why not see if you can widen your social circle by speaking to a few new people from your class on your way to the canteen. It's all about expanding your school squad!
Join a club
If you're all about football, drama, art, or anything in between, secondary school clubs are where it's at. They're a fantastic way to bond with like-minded people and meet new friends. So what are you waiting for? See what extracurricular activities your school has on offer!
Talk to a trusted adult
If you've tried everything but are still having trouble making friends, don't stress – talk to your form tutor or head of year. They're pros at helping friendships blossom, and they'll know who you're likely to get along with.
If you're just starting secondary school, here are some extra tips to help you out:
Try a transition day
Before you start secondary school, you might be invited to a transition day or to induction activities. Transition days are like a taster into the world of secondary school and you can often meet new friends before your first day, so it’s worth going along and getting involved.
Strike up a conversation
When you start at school, your form tutor will probably ask you to sit next to someone new. This is your moment! Flash a friendly smile and strike up a convo.
You can break the ice by asking your new buddy a question about themselves. Start with something simple, like their favourite thing to watch online. They’re probably feeling just as nervous as you are, but by talking to them you'll both feel a lot more settled.
Remember, secondary school's not just a place to learn about the curriculum, it's also somewhere you can meet amazing people and make new friends. For more school essentials, head to our study skills page.
If you need support
You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult. If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you’re doing.
If you’re in need of in-the-moment support you can contact , where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
There are more links to helpful organisations on 91ȱ Action Line.
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